Please help need advice. What should I do? Feeling very depressed.

6 points by swcoders 10 years ago | 5 comments

Hi All

I am feeling really depressed. Someone newbie of my field with less experience made a very good impression in the community. While I was trying hard to make some impact for years and tried to enter in the field but not able to so much successful and he come and got all the glory.

Sorry I know it is wrong to be jealous. I got so much depressed and feeling very bad and insecure. I am also feeling so much anxiety.

Please help. Need advice. What should I do to overcome this thing.

vrnut 10 years ago |

A. I recommend people never have -one- thing they do. Having -one- thing makes you dependent on the outcomes of that one thing, which will ebb and flow. Start putting energy in something else as well (I especially recommend strong relationships, or a physical activity pursued at the hobby level), and when your original project hits a low point, use your other activity to recharge.

B. Are they really newbie? Did they do 5 years of work in obscurity, and you just saw the point where they broke through?

C. Community glory tends to be a 'winner-takes-all-affair'. 8 people get 10% each, 2 people get %40 each. Try to live your life such that such long-shots are capable of enhancing it, rather than depending on it for your happiness.

D. You're not your status in the community. You're a worthwhile person for existing.

All of that is what you should focus on to not be so outcome dependent, and thats what I would suggest focusing on right now. There's also the legitamte question of how to have more of an impact on your chosen field, but I think that would require more ifnromation.

PaulHoule 10 years ago |

Talk a walk. The military has soldiers do a huge amount of exercise to immunize them against combat stress. Also see a pcp and try an ssri, I don't believe the official explanation of how they work but they are cheap, easy to try, safe, and often help resilliance in the face of stress -- unlike benzodiazepines they treat anxiety without interfering with the natural process of maturing and getting better at handling situations or any attempt to do the same with various therapies.

blatcho 10 years ago |

I've always thought it's easier to make a good impression when first entering a new field/job/school/whatever, the real trick is maintaining that good impression for a long-period of time. One success will buy you a certain amount of 'credit', but eventually it runs out. Longevity and endurance are the key.

But you should also think about working with this newbie, perhaps together you could achieve even more success?

wsc981 10 years ago |

When I was depressed I did the following: http://qr.ae/RgsEWk

With regards to your specific situation I'd like to add that perhaps it's wiser to stop working on a community project and perhaps focus on a new project, an idea, just by yourself. Try to make it a success in any way and be proud of yourself.

mahadazad 10 years ago |

Well this really helped me in my situation, hope you will also feel good:

https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=https://ghurfa-books.s3.a...