The humans are dead. (Yes we checked and they're dead.)
P.S. I took a screenshot of my profile while I was dead, and just set a reminder to post the 'memory' next year.
Do they not have google where you live?
"Hey! Hey! Your food has been ready for zero seconds! Hey!"
. . .
"Hey! F#$face! Your burrito has been ready for five seconds! Eat your g-d food meat bag!"
. . .
"Ten seconds?! REALLY?! Are you serious?! We're enemies forever now! Eat this crap for f's sake!"
"Hey, the wash cycle is over" Yes, but everything is still as hot as lava.
"Hey, it's been 5 minutes." Still hot.
And then it beeps a "Hey!" every five minutes thereafter.