Killed my colleagues' characters during RPG session, now they won't talk to me(workplace.stackexchange.com) |
Killed my colleagues' characters during RPG session, now they won't talk to me(workplace.stackexchange.com) |
He acted as though he did not know or care what he did to upset them (evidenced by not apologising), and they now expect he is capable of acting the same way in other (professional and personal) situations.
So maybe he did not know?
> revealed a troubling character attribute to his coworkers
You mean his, personal, character?
The OPs coworkers are pulling the most obvious high school mean girls routine, and OP must grovel to be let back in? F that. It's just a game, and instead of giving the new person some leeway they close ranks. That work environment sounds terrible, petty and uncooperative.
How about _they_ stop and apologize for being immature children.
"It's just a game" -- a game that the other people were invested in (emotionally and time-wise: he said that they had already played 3 sessions). If you spent three multi-hour sessions doing something and then a new member you invited wrecks it, wouldn't you be unhappy too?
Taking it one step further, he said " the rest was clearly disgusted" and yet didn't think that maybe what he was doing would be a problem? He could have simply asked the group at this point.
Sure, the colleagues didn't react professionally, but this guy messed up big time and seemingly didn't even notice that he did. A very quick and simple solution likely would have been to simply apologise the next day. "Hey, I'm really sorry about last night, I thought I was roleplaying my character and got carried away and didn't realise it would cause heartache." likely would have went a long way to smooth things over.
What bugs me most is the idea that OP demonstrated untrustworthiness and therefor the reaction outside the game is justified. The complete opposite is true: the clique demonstrated an inability to separate fiction from reality. If this is how they react, what do you think would happen if something actually goes wrong at work? Do you think they would suddenly drop the backstabby attitude, examine things without pointing fingers, and communicate openly about what needs doing?
I've been down that road before. Complete shitshow. Resentment only builds, and saving face takes priority over putting out fires. If the company starts having 2-3 hour vision meetings in times of trouble instead of making action plans, run away, the cancer has gotten to the brain and is fatal.
The solution here is finding new friends at work. The only thing the poster has lost is time.
According to his account, he noticed the other players were "disgusted" - something he decided to ignore. I dont know how their diagust manifested, but people who ignore shared disgust for their own fun are no fun to role play with. The disgusted group members likely said things that were ignored by him - did not lead to discussion nor two way attempt to undestand expectations. Their concerns were ignored.
This combined with the fact that he did not tried to talk with them afterwards to explain himself (not the same as apologise) makes me think the dudes social skills are not the best in town. He might have come across way more dismissive or insulting as he thinks.
When one player does his own thing with zero regards to how other players want to play or what they consider fun, the game becomes drainig to everyone else. I would expect conflict after such play and it is quite likely the mentioned disgust was that conflict - and the way it did not solved made people wanna socialize with less difficult people.
So really, I'd blame the DM and/or the group as a whole for even allowing the situation where an evil character was part of the PC group.
I've also played a Forest Gump good character with a group of evil characters. Dumb as a sack of potatoes, but willing to work with people clearing out obviously evil baddies (while actually clearing out the competition from the rest of the parties perspective).
Evil or chaotic doesn't mean dumb or crazy.
I'm not saying it's not possible, but there's a particular kind of person who wants to ruin other people's fun, on purpose. The group is understandably upset, and I would blame the player for thinking that such an action was a good idea to begin with. The DM is also partly at fault for not establishing ground rules and "party etiquette."
I heard a story about such a session where everyone was pissed off, but had fun all the same.
It's very hard to find balance. The right amount of evil at the right time. Stabbing everyone in the back during a boss fight would not fly.
If I'm going to be an asshole, I'm going to be an asshole by The Book. The (unwritten) Book usually has some rule about not sh*tting where you eat, often phrased much less succinctly.
Total dick move. You need to go find a safe space to cry in.
But since the guy was asking for help, I think it's fine to focus on what that guy could do. Perhaps I shouldn't have focused so much on what he should have done in the past.