Ask HN: What made you decide to marry your spouse? A popular "Ask HN" was posted recently, that asked how to find a wife[1]. Suppose you have found someone. When do you know it's the right time to get married? [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14332698 |
Step 2: if you both want kids then move to step 3.
Step 3: If you want to protect your assests against your best friend with whom you want to build a family, go ahead and setup a prenup. Though, you might get stuck at that step because you'd put your money or your career first then your wife (best friend and mother of your kids) second. Why not? It's totally possible. Thought, I would NOT recommend a marriage in this case because it doesn't make any sense.
Step 4: let's say you skipped step 3 and made it to step 4. At this stage, you can pop the question, it makes sense.
Congrats.
Step 2.1: If kids, what is your religions position for our children.
Step 2.2: Ensure sex drives and preferences aligned. Invariably its money or sex that result in marriage break-up so you want to make sure there is a compatibility here.
Step 3: Have to disagree about if you want a pre-nup not recommending a marriage. I would easily admit I'm more practical than romantic, but I see no problem with this conversation. I believe marriages would last longer if people were more practical about discussing these things rather than believing their commitment to each other overrides these realities. In my experience couples often haven't discussed money/religion/children core requirements. For modern relationships, I'd discuss money and assets before you got to marriage as I assume you'd move in together. This is a better point for this conversation and agreement given its more 'trial stage' and with defacto laws in many countries your assets sharing starts at this point.
...anyway I'm 15 years in with my partner with 2 kids and yet to marry. So not sure I fit the social norm.
I realized how she taught me a lesson. During the whole process all she cared about was me. Not her, not the money or anything else and that made me realized what a true relationship is. I looked at her in the eyes and said "let's get married, forget about feeding attorneys". Money comes and goes but strong relationships are extremely rare. One year after our marriage I quite my full time job in order to focus on my side company. I thought it was time for me to give it a try and to make it big... I went from making $200K/year on a w2 to pretty much $0. She took on a second job to support us and worked long hours to make sure I could continue doing what I loved. I ended up using a lot of my savings because we couldn't afford living in the Bay area with only one income. Long story short, after a few years, my savings is almost gone and my company ended up being a failure. My wife is still there right next to me, she hasn't changed and keeps supporting whatever I do. I could be rich or broke, she doesn't care.
So, make sure to follow the proper steps, money should be out of the scope. Unfortunately, time will tell you if you made the right decision or not. If you're still thinking about a prenup, don't get married... it won't bring anything to your relationship but potential problems.
I knew it was time to get married about a week after we met. Everyone else paled in comparison. It took another 6 months to make it official - but I was really married in my own mind after that first week together.
Hahahaha. So creepy.
"Hey, I like your brain."
Or better yet: "hey, i can tell ur the one for me cuz i like your mucus."
Hahahahah
However, my current partner has better retirement benefits than I do (both Social Security and pension benefits). I recently joked with him that we should marry so that I inherit his benefits should he kick off before I do. That would be an unpleasant reason to get married.
Regarding health insurance, currently it looks like we're better off not being married. That's probably also true for tax purposes.
Never used it. Still married.
Not too obvious by year 23, but mos def by 24!