Ask HN: Fear? I am suffering from a very weird fear. I fear that if I do x thing, then other person will gain the benefits of my hard work. I want to hide everything from others, be it learning new stuff, or starting a new task. It is badly spoiling my life. I want to overcome this fear. Help me how I can overcome it? |
The more you give, the more you get; might not be awesome profits, might be even better. The secret with giving is to not expect anything in return, the very definition of Karma Yoga; real Yogis practice that all the time.
There's nothing wrong with you, we're being carefully programmed to reason just like this; to mistrust and compete with everyone but our fabulous authorities. Cut down on the mainstream media and social networking if you want the power over your mind back.
1. A person is that headstrong and passionate about your project and will steal it. They steal your idea and become successful.
2. The person says, "Oh that sounds awesome. Good luck with that." Then they move on with their life and I move on with mine.
In most cases, #2 is more likely and logical, isn't it? How many people have you heard of doing #1? The only time #1 may occur is when you've already established the business and your business partner breaks away and enhances upon your idea.
I don't mind telling people about my ideas or brainstorming because its most likely: I know what I want it to be like, they don't.. they just have a vague idea. They are probably not as passionate about you as your own projects.
Thus: Get to it. Don't let that hold you back. In fact, embrace the times where people actually listen to your idea and give you feedback on it. It really does help.
I stopped caring about what other people will think/feel/benefit, it has nothing to do with me.
If you love what you do, then f* them. Just do it.
This is for you: http://zenpencils.com/comic/140-invictus-a-comic-tribute-to-...
Think of this as knowledge. The more you share, the better you become yourself. Same with doing x. The more you do, the better you get at it even if it helps others. In fact, if it helps others, even better for you. Most people are not looking to "gain" anything from you or take advantage of you.
Also look at the alternative. If you never do anything because you think someone else will benefit more, you will never do anything for yourself. You are the loser at the end because that imaginary person who MAY benefit more probably does not even exist. I would say most likely they don't exist.
I was a bit scared that someone established in Arts industry, would take up my idea and because they had more networks and artists, would do a better than me locally and then more people would steal it in different cities.
I tried to go open source later and literally tried that an art gallery or a photographer steals my idea and does staircase exhibitions. I tried to pitch it to people from different countries, they all loved it, said would try it, but never did. I sent them elaborate checklists on how to execute and pitch these exhibitions.
Nobody steals your idea - unless they see that you are making money doing it already. At which point, your idea is no longer a secret.
Since then, I have shared my ideas for months before working on them and received valuable feedback to refine them or weed bad ones out. I have even shared ideas that I thought were patentable - that made me uncomfortable, but no one ever stole them either.
Interestingly, at times I have thought of stealing someone ideas (we were co-founding and I felt cheated). I tried, but could not steal the idea either - though I was the developer. I guess, it is a lot of work to steal an idea.
And my latest startup idea is a game - https://halfchess.com . I shared it for a few months before starting to build it.
It can still make me uncomfortable to share an idea at times. So I stopped sharing ideas with people who make me feel uncomfortable or don't have a constructive feedback.
- [0] https://www.robinwieruch.de/lessons-learned-give-and-take/
Also nothing really matter on its own, it's up to each of us to make our own meaning. So, if you're really set on these fears they'll be real. If you focus on a different strategy that will be your reality.
You want a non zero sum game perspective.
Everything is timestanped and proved you were there first maybe?