(de-identified)

Subject: You're killing me smalls! Message: Hey ____! What is your favorite movie quote ever? ~haha We are the guys in the very back of the room...the ones having a great time and still getting our work done. We care about our customers and we are looking for a Sr. Software Developer/Team Lead to join our team. I realize you are in the _____ area and we are allllllllllllll....alllllllllll the way in _____, IL. (Inserting drama, we aren't that far, same planet) But in case you haven't heard....this is Silicorn Valley. We want to build cool sh...stuff and are looking for unmista-COB-ly, POPetually, A-MAIZE-ING people to add to our team. Conversations are free...let me know if you'd like to connect and hear more.

CORNsider this the uniCORN of opportunities! ____

P.S. If you are looking to work with all the newest technology we are gearing up to architect our 3rd generation that will blow you mind! P.P.S We have so many talented people from all walks of life working here~Musicians, singers, tilapia farm owners, artists, welders...and more CROPPING up daily!

Response:

____,

I have taken the time to distill out your message. There are a cornucopia of reasons why this opportunity is not something I am able to pursue at this moment despite having familiarity with your industry. It is with sad spirits that I decline. I hope you cornpletely understand.

Best regards. _____

P.S. Let your manager know that I appreciate your approach.