I don't even know how to form goals or dreams anymore. I'm so horribly lonely I don't have anyone to check in with to try to stabilize my life at all. I got so lonely I couldn't sleep so many times for 2+ nights in a row I had to quit my job because I couldn't safely commute.

I guess I grew up thinking eventually I would meet someone I liked that also liked me back, and then I could finally have someone to talk to about hopes and dreams and goals and plans, but it never happened.

I guess if I can offer any advice to anyone if anyone actually reads this it would be to just go all in on liking someone back if they want to like you.

When I was 17 a 15 year old liked me and I liked her but was to afraid to like her back because in a year I would be 18 and it would be illegal to like her and... now I'm 31 and no one else ever even showed interest in me except some girl I didn't like that drugged me and raped me and I'm so fucking alone

1 - like jetti, be a better dad 2 - get certified 3 - get my apnea sorted out

In no particular order:

* pay down debts

* create a revenue generating side project

* try and be the best dad I can be to my son