1. There are no chores or obligations only things someone wants to get done.

2. If you want something done that you personally don't want to do at the moment you need to ask. Every time.

3. Person asked has the right to refuse without any consequences or resentment. If person asked refuses to do it, you need to do it yourself or stop wanting it. If the person agrees and does what you wanted it's polite and effortless to thank for it. If person does something that's beneficial for you even though you didn't ask you should thank as well.

Those rules, even never openly stated, just distilled unilaterally by me resulted in happy domestic life of 14 years between two good persons. Those rules require no bookkeeping and promote positive interactions and instill sense of individual freedom. They are extremely flexible. They adapt easily to switching jobs, homes, schedules.

You don't regret how much you do around the house because it was either to satisfy your own wants or a direct result of specific request you freely chose to satisfy. You also don't resent that other people are doing so little because they do that either because you didn't ask them or they refuse many of your requests (in latter case, should you have that relationship?).

I believe it might be beneficial to apply those rules even to business relationships.

We stopped arguing with a few simple rules:

  Everybody has their own chores. Fixed. No confusion

  Say thanks! each time you see a chore done. Everybody likes to be noticed.

  See a chore undone? Do it. Its easier to do it, than to complain about it.  Corollary: Complaining about a chore, makes it your chore this time.

So we went from fighting about who's doing what, to giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Appreciating what everybody does. And sometimes doing a kindness for another person, just because. (And getting thanked for it!)

Whether it works or not depends on how much your relationship is built on systematic, empirical decisions. Spreadsheets like this are hugely common in larger communal living arrangements.

And there is a harsh quality to it, but I don't think the people knocking this strategy fully appreciate the danger of a relationship built on illusions or delusions. If you come to me saying "true love overcomes all" or somesuch I'd be seriously concerned about gaslighting or codependency taking hold.

Chore assignment will become way easier after the divorce, towards which this guy is clearly heading...

OR this spreadsheet will only lead to nitpicking and grief...

I can't think of any high functioning relationship that uses one. The fact that people think they need one spells doom. It says, if only we had some kind technical solution to what is clearly an interpersonal problem.

You can also make an Agile team and assign chores in sprints. You can install Jira to help keeping track.

Or you can just discuss and do them when needed.

This spreadsheet looks like a chore.

Open communication and mutual assistance is way better than some sort of favor debt economy.

Over several marriages, I've developed this strategy: I do all of the chores.

In short order, a decent partner will start taking over a reasonable share.

If that doesn't happen, it's an excellent indicator of deeper problems that will ultimately sink the relationship. Leave.

I wonder if there aren't chore counseling and consulting businesses.

... do you both work fulltime jobs?

... is exterior/yard work in the sheet?

TL;DR create a complex agile-esque process for doing chores with timestamps instead of just setting a calendar reminder or doing it ad-hoc.