I am almost 30 and started programming when I was 18. I am about to become a father and I already feel that I can't work as much as my younger colleagues.

At my current employee, people get promoted who put the most hours in, since they then also end up putting more work down and knowing the systems better. I get it, when you work 60 hours each week, you will be the go-to person.

But I wonder what people do with familys? I have friends in the big FAANG companies and smaller open source companies. The hours of work is everywhere the same. You put in over hours and nobody complains since you know, you got a pretty good job and you can't complain.

After so many years however, I lost the ability to oversee bad (project) management and see it more of a: This is badly managed, you should hire two more people for this team etc.

I seem to be in the minority though. So I wonder what other people with families do: Are you switching companies to have saner work hours and "downgrade" your work environment? I really like working with ambitious people, but they I haven't found a company yet with sane hours but also with people eager to learn. I somehow manage to do both, but still fall behind inside bigger corporations.

Any advice or companies who manage both?