Ask HN: Do you email your best friends?

9 points by jtesp 15 years ago | 15 comments

Social networking is convenient and entertaining, but is that it? I can count my best friends on one hand and none of us are friends on Facebook and we don't even email each other. When we want to communicate, we give each other a phone call. Text messages are very rare as well.

Is this normal? Why?

acconrad 15 years ago |

Really depends on what I'm trying to do. Coordinate a ski trip? Email best friends. Going out for drinks? Text. Got lost to the bar? Call.

So yeah, I email my best friends.

stoney 15 years ago | |

Basically I do this too. But I'd add: Moved to country in vastly different time zone? Put pictures on facebook and send newsletter style email every now and then.

malmros 15 years ago |

There are three forms of communication (typically): verbal, written, and gestural. Verbal is either face to face - and often is heavily laced with gestural - or via telephone. And of course written in all its wondrous forms. Also the most "difficult" of the three. (Pardon... if I seem to be generalizing...) If you think about it, social networking is like a "holiday note" stuck in the card... sent to everyone on the list - but continually. You could do the same with email and then you would retain some ownership of your content. And Twitter is everyone's text messages - which would be spam if you got in your inbox. But it certainly is entertaining for some reason. I tried using Twitter as an RSS feed... eh! Actually, everyone has an email that uses a "social network"... so why not just use email? Email is peer-to-peer ... and creative developers could easily come up with a Facebook like email GUI. So you parse all your friends emails into a nice timeline and profile page... and when you update, you would send out a "group" email to your network - or select subset... and they would get it parsed out in their GUI. That's really all FB is... or Linkedin. What's the first thing they want to do when you sign up? Get your email contact list! So in essence, we give them our contacts and content so they can tell us what we can and cannot do with it (TOS) and then inundate us with more spam. What am I missing here?

valjavec 15 years ago |

I use all forms of communications, rank them according to urgency and how distracted I want to be when I get anything back.

In that order probably: Phone call, SMS, Gtalk, Skype, Facebook, Email

mattcofer 15 years ago |

Typically, I Google Talk with my closest friends and wife. Luckily they all use Android phones so they are always a quick Google Chat message away. Facebook is great for inviting friends to events (easy to cheat and use your friends list as a hint to make sure you don't forget anybody). Email is good for personal pictures and touching base with family. Phone calls are really only for when I need an answer now or talking to my Dad who doesn't use any social media, Google chat and rarely checks his email. I don't like the phone because most of the time you aren't really saying much anyways. Why not just get off the phone and send me a message when you've made a decision? I don't need to listen to you think.

kachhalimbu 15 years ago |

I moved out of India few years ago and now live in Taiwan. Most of my best friends are in India but few are in US. I have tried all sorts of things personal blog, posterous group blog,google group,google site and other social networks such as Facebook and Orkut but finally we have settled on exchanging emails as the only way to keep in touch. I think it is perfectly normal. Some of us were bothered by having to to leave their inboxes and go to some other website just to check on our group messages and also email provided sort of privacy we were all comfortable with. Almost all of us use gmail for the threaded conversations (gmail) which are great for these sort of emails (photos/events/outing reports)

jtesp 15 years ago |

Thanks for responding...just the answers I expected. Communication is changing at an alarming rate, we are literally in the middle of the communication revolution. It's interesting to think about how humans will interact in 10 years.

sagacity 15 years ago | |

>It's interesting to think about how humans will interact in 10 years.

You could say this again!

In about 10 years from now, I think the population of what have been described as 'digital natives' would probably hit 40/50% mark (if not higher).

I too think it'd be very interesting to see the state of communication and human interaction methodologies at that point in time.

IMO, (much) greater degrees of convergence and unification are almost certain. In what forms and styles, only time will tell. (And a handful of bright startups with the right ideas at the right times along the way would be the next billionaires :)).

manish_chhabra 15 years ago |

I think every means has a different purpose. People upload their pictures on social network and just share them with friends they want to. When you are at work, it is easier to chat/email/sms than a phone talk. CALL.. if you are after a real quick response!

nomad2986 15 years ago |

I definitely text my friends a lot but not email at all. I think it's kind of odd not to be friends with your best friends on facebook but that being said, I don't actually communicate with my best friends that much on facebook.

wladimir 15 years ago |

Sure, I e-mail my friends sometimes, when I want to send something around (interesting links, pictures), or to coordinate things. But I guess that's pretty old fashioned, I don't use Facebook or other social networks.

rrhoover 15 years ago |

I don't even know the email address of any of my friends. We also very rarely talk on the phone. I communicate with my buddies back home 95% of the time via Facebook and txt.

remthename 15 years ago |

I do not email any friends. I am in my twenties. Before Facebook it was another social network, before that it was IM.

EDIT: I do chat to friends on Gmails chat.

jtesp 15 years ago |

It appears that social networks are pools of acquaintances. Hmmm interesting...

Mz 15 years ago |

Basically, if you can't do email, you can't be my best friend. But, then, my best friends tend to be met online and tend to live far away. My life isn't remotely "normal".