I started, and found funding for, a progressive/activist media project.
After I had found a financer and quit my job, but while the gears were still spinning up, I was introduced to a well-connected, institutionally-pedigreed woman around my age who was interested in the same subject matter.
I brought her on board, gave her a non-executive title, and we worked together for more than a year.
From the word go, she was dissatisfied with the arrangement and made what I thought were inappropriate requests for autonomy and power sharing. I knew the structure of our deal was fair and if I was ever inclined to give her more responsibility, those thoughts were quelled by the combative way she demanded it. Her delivery was basically “I’m as qualified to run this as you.”
I didn’t cut ties and send her on her way because her presence on our team was helpful in getting our foot in certain doors. But had she threatened to quit, I would have let her go - she wasn’t critical to our success.
After a year of planned work, things were mothballed for a while while I had to take a job, and we parted ways. When I had funds to pick things up again I did it without her, and she wrote angry screeds like the the article this post links to, accusing me of being sexist and dishonest.
When I decided not to include her in the second stage of work, I did it in the belief that she would diminish our chances of success. In the end success was middling but the project did reach a national audience and win awards and propel my career. I used to regret not being able to do that without the drama, but I’ve since become resigned to the fact that with some individuals it’s unavoidable.
In all parts of our lives, we may feel threatened or anxious and so we do things to take control or push others away. The fact that he couldn't share the stage with you shows more of him than it does you.
You both hopefully learned some things, but the point of the matter is to not take this stuff personally - it was meant to be this way. Learn from the past, but don't dwell on it. We all have a future ahead of us.
According to this interview, he's Jewish: https://www.contagious.com/news-and-views/sleeping-giants-Ma...
I wonder what the reaction would be if the subtitle was instead "How my Jewish male co-founder gaslighted me". Would we be okay with that?
It should be reported to Medium.
Solid username BTW.