Ask HN: What are the biggest problems in your life?

20 points by bregr 4 years ago | 49 comments

What are the biggest problems/annoyances/inconveniences in your life? Could be work-related, personal life, etc.

culopatin 4 years ago |

I’m almost 30 and I’m still chasing the career I want. I’m in IT, but I want to be in software dev. I want to build things, not just fix them.

When I was 17 a company poached my from my technical high school and put me in the field to learn by doing. It went great, but it’s not the career I want. I need to find the same opportunity but in a software developer role. I’m confident that I’ll be a sponge and I’ll produce results quickly under someone’s wing, but it’s rare that someone wants that with such competitive market.

If someone here is curious about this, please reach out, I’m willing to take it as a second job part time if you can’t pay much, or even if you can’t pay. All I need is an opportunity to get my foot in the door.

mastrsushi 4 years ago | |

I don’t want to discourage you, but A LOT of software engineering is fixing things.

Coming from someone who also said “I want to build things not fix them” when I picked CS when I was 18.

To be fair, I went to ODU though and didn’t have the best grades.

culopatin 4 years ago | | |

I understand that and I’m ready to do that. But I see it as being part of the group that is building something. In IT, unless you are an architect, things are pretty much set. I understand that I romanticize it a bit, but I won’t settle until I try for myself.

I think this is what I want my career to be so I’m trying to go for it. If it’s not, then I’ll go for mechanical engineering and I’ll start all over. Mech eng would line up with my hobby of racing cars in part.

giantg2 4 years ago |

Son's medical issue, wife's medical issue, I hate my job with no end in sight, and I rarely get to do anything I would enjoy (hobbies).

100011_100001 4 years ago | |

Sorry to hear that. Having had a wife with medical issues I feel your pain. No matter what you do, you feel guilty or frustrated, which makes everything else frustrating too.

If financially able I would recommend hiring people to help. It can be from care, to cleaning the house, getting your groceries. Outsourcing costs money, but it will create time for yourself.

llamajams 4 years ago |

Started a business with my dad, brother joined a few years later, it's been 13 years now, we've put our blood into it , same with every one in the family. We prioritised the business over everything, health, relationship, friends,all our life savings buying a house. Covid hit us pretty bad, missed some payments, 3 days from now I'm probably gonna throw the downpayment I've been saving at it, but the lawyers's have fucked up and it might go under and we'll lose everything. Might have to support them indefinitely. I think it's over with the girl i like. Smoking more than ever, getting high every day.

leafygreene 4 years ago | |

The thing with small businesses is that it's all-consuming. If you think you can squeeze work-life balance out of a business, then you are borderline delusional.

The (false) freedom, (unstable flow of) money, and (faux) independence of being a business owner can seem great, but the 24/7/365 grind isn't worth it for so many who try. I didn't have a weekend off for 9 years!

If your business fails, take the lessons and run, particularly with regard to whether you want to be owned again by your livelyhood in future endeavors.

Maybe failure is the door you've been looking for. Don't be afraid of it.

lamroger 4 years ago | |

damn dude - hope things turn around for yall

annie_muss 4 years ago |

I cannot follow a plan. I know what I need to do but do not do it.

blodkorv 4 years ago | |

I feel you, i have the same issue

bickeringyokel 4 years ago |

A todo list that will never be completed, and only gets longer.

100011_100001 4 years ago | |

I have a rule. If something stays in my list for longer than a month, it's not that important. I would suggest you just remove it, but fear of missing out is a thing. So instead you can have a low priority todo list and move it there.

bickeringyokel 4 years ago | | |

I do throw things into various priority lists and categories, but it still makes me sad that I won't get around to some of them for months or years

rhn_mk1 4 years ago | |

That problem can be turned into a boon. You have a better chance that there's something interesting on the list you actually want to do. Or important ones, or whatever you care about.

What about the ones you don't care about as much? Well, you don't care about them, so not doing them is not a problem.

An overlong todo list is a nice tool to help prioritize the valuable things.

bickeringyokel 4 years ago | | |

I try to pick 10 or so things a day I can actually get done. That does help me feel like I accomplished at least a little bit.

warxmike 4 years ago |

comparison w/ people that are younger, smarter and have accomplished more.

FerretFred 4 years ago | |

Give it (say) 5 years, do the comparison again and note how many of those people have burned out, being unable to handle the fame/power/money. There's always an advantage to being "ordinary" and once someone's achieved a certain level it can be really difficult to sustain it.

dijereedan 4 years ago |

The apathy that accompanies depression. Most days, I can't complete simple chores let alone the important duties required of an adult with a house and family.

all2 4 years ago | |

My dude, I have been here. I set my "baseline self care" to try and combat some of this.

1. eat enough 2. sleep enough (you're depressed, you need more sleep than normal) 3. read the Bible

That last one is for christian folks. My faith and dependence on God has been the thing that has allowed me to pull through. Self-care comes in close second.

shannifin 4 years ago |

Not enough income. Inability to focus. Inability to maintain a routine or sleep schedule.

all2 4 years ago | |

I recommend not worrying about a "sleep schedule" and just get enough sleep. Shoot for getting up 8 hours from when you go to bed.

FerretFred 4 years ago |

30+ years of being the sole data-handling tech resource for a company that's expanded like crazy, just over 1 year to retirement and nobody, but nobody has even started talking about replacing me.

gtsteve 4 years ago | |

That sounds like the company's problem, not yours, although being evidently a conscientious sort I can see why you'd take it as your own.

If your company has a risk register, this is an important item to add, and if not it's time to make one.

FerretFred 4 years ago | | |

Yes, a lot of people outside the company have said that. I feel a degree of loyalty having been there right from the start, but I'm sure this will disappear in a year's time :) The risk register is an interesting thought which I'll check out; thanks!

chefkoch 4 years ago | |

That sounds like some sweet consulting money.

superflit2 4 years ago | |

To whom I send my CV?

quazar987 4 years ago |

There’s no perfect pillow, its little bigger or smaller, always

leafygreene 4 years ago | |

And once you become accustomed to your imperfect pillow, no other will do!

trinovantes 4 years ago |

I'm almost 30 and still have to deal with acne

willcipriano 4 years ago | |

Have you tried accutane? I have a family history of adult acne, took accutane in my early 20's and after six months it was permanently gone. They used to call me "Pizza Face McGee" it was that bad.

regitempus 4 years ago | | |

Sorry but lmao @ Pizza Face McGee

eurasiantiger 4 years ago | |

If you also have dandruff and/or itchy scalp, it’s most likely a Malassezia infection that’s also affecting your face.

killtimeatwork 4 years ago |

1. Immature people in my family.

2. Not enough energy and not great health (I get sick rather easily when I get outside during less than perfect weather).

willcipriano 4 years ago |

Someone close to me is mentally ill and off medication and I have to deal with the fallout of her choices.

TheHnMaster 4 years ago |

My kids slowing down my career

codingdave 4 years ago | |

Mine is the opposite - my career slowing down my life with my kids.

nobodyandproud 4 years ago |

Why isn’t Medicare gradually phased-in starting at 40 or 50?

Why are my sheltered retirement funds only available penalty-free at 60 and onward?

Can I survive and thrive in tech into my 50s?

leafygreene 4 years ago | |

re: survival in 50s.

Only if you are by then successful. If not, your career will stall late 30s when you realize tech is age-bound, however immoral or illegal.

They absolutely will hire 2 inexperienced college grads over paying for your 25 years of experience everytime.

blodkorv 4 years ago |

Inability to maintain a routine or sleep schedule and the fight of keeping a negative calorie balance to loose weight.

vcoelho 4 years ago |

Brazil

orian 4 years ago |

too much work :P not enough time with family and friends

chefkoch 4 years ago |

what do i want to do with my life?

leafygreene 4 years ago | |

You don't have to do anything. You don't have to be anyone. You don't have to go anywhere. Life is not going to stop because you don't do something with your life. What are the 100 trillion lifeforms on earth, 8 billion of them human, doing that's so essential?

Nadda.

leafygreene 4 years ago | | |

And there's a lot to being an Everyman. It's not a life lived unwell, or it doesn't have to be. One could well argue that unwellness is a function of doing. Read I. Berlin’s In Defense of Idleness.

asyrafql 4 years ago |

sustain attention :P

mastrsushi 4 years ago |

Sustained post concussive symptoms

Patella Femoral Syndrome

Arthritis in my back at age 27

You guys are wimps