Ask HN: Sending mails for my children accessible in the future (

6 points by TrailMixRaisin 4 years ago | 6 comments

Some time ago I read about the idea to create an email account for small children and write them regular mails that they can read in the future (For example when turning 18). Additionally you can invite grandparents and other people to write for the child to get it in the future. Now I would like to have something like this for my children. Thinking about this showed me that there might be no good solution or that I am overthinking it. Here are what I was thinking about:

1. Using my own server. I have my own server where I can create a mail account and collect all mails. Its private and has "unlimited" storage if we speak about text and some photos. Only problem is, I might die before the children reaches the age. The contract for the server ends, all data gets deleted and the child may never get the mail. I would have to write a will and define how to handle the server. Combined with need to chance software, updates and chanced credentials I see the real risk that the documentation does not allow the designated handler to give access to my child. This seems like a worst case scenario. Dying before the child is of age and losing all the stuff I wrote form him/her.

2. Using a freemailer. I could register an account at gmail or similar and collect the data there. The credentials are handled by me and are stored in my will to pass along if I die. If the service goes out of service I can backup and move the data. This solutions sound good, but I feel uncomfortable deciding for my child that this much and highly personal information is stored at someone processing it to make ads.

3. Using a specialized app like timespring. I found one app that offers a service to collect data and give access in the future. https://timespring.com/features/ While I am comfortable paying for such an service it will be 2038 before I plan to give the child access to the system. This is longer that the iPhone is around so it seems unsafe to trust in an App being available 16 years in the future. Additionally it would be much harder for my parents to send data via this app.

Writing and thinking about that matter showed me again how little prepared we seem to be in the context of digital heritage. So if you have any other ideas to organize your digital stuff for the people after you I would be interested. Especially if there is some kind of PW management where I can define some elements that will be send to somebody else If I do not log in after x days.

Best trailmixraisin

LinuxBender 4 years ago |

I like the idea of making notes that will be given to them at a later time. In my opinion the method of using email is adding fragility to your desired end goal. I believe your goal is to write letters that one day your children will read. Their email addresses may change, you might pass on, email accounts may be closed, email and cloud providers can go out of business. Speaking from experience, receiving communications from a loved one after they pass may have unintended psychological impact.

I am not a lawyer nor an estate planner but I believe at very least you would want to write the letters in a plain and simple format with date/time stamps and save them to multiple storage devices and also print them out from time to time. Have copies on site and in a bank deposit box. Detail in your will that these letters and USB drives must be given to all your children. There should be a cover page that explains what the letter are as to avoid confusion and to provide context. Plain text paper and text files will not be impacted by any of the numerous future time bugs.

Even better might be to create a living trust and have trust managers that will manually hand a copy of the content to your children in paper form at the same time your assets are distributed to them. The trust manager can have special instructions detailing how they are to reaffirm to the children how important it was to you that they read them. This is of course assuming you do not give them the letters before you pass. Apologies if that seemed a bit morbid.

TrailMixRaisin 4 years ago | |

Thanks for your input. I was thinking about getting a nice notebook and write letters into it. This method seemed a bit exclusive. I would like to invite grandparents, uncle, aunts etc. to add to the collection and would not want everybody to read the letters intended for the child. This would mean multiple notebooks and more management. While it would make the individual entry more meaningful (I assume you will think more before writing in a paper notebook) it might prevent me to add to it because my input does not seem meaningful enough.

So maybe "simple" mails that are stored by me or by a trusted third party are the best option. This again allows for contribution by third parties.

haspoken 4 years ago | |

Also raise your children to appreciate these sort of things so they will tend to them and perhaps start a family tradition. Keep in mind that the older they are, the more these will be appreciated.

mxuribe 4 years ago |

Sorry, i know I'm chiming in a few days later...but i thought about this myself. I started down the email route (and my email does not use free email service, but my own custom domain name to have maximum control). Then, i wondered about my family/children having access to these emails...and then started thinking maybe i can script things to download the messages (via some automated imap, etc.)...and then convert to good ol' standard text files. And then, i thought, hey why not just draft my notes as barebones text files - just like some basic text based journal - in some directory, and make it easily accessible...Now i'm using this approach, but the more i think of it, the more i think pen and paper are best (as others have noted)...Of course alternatively, i can draft text files, and every so often, just print them out and store them in a safe, etc. But there's also the neat concept of drafting notes in pen and paper, so my kids can see my own handwriting...all of this is all about memories and nostalgia...for them. i hope that helps a little!

schwartzworld 4 years ago |

4. Using a pen and paper. This sounds like a great gift, but a box of sealed envelopes might make it even more special.

brudgers 4 years ago |

Use paper and ink. Put the letters in a box...a portable safe might be a good kind of box.

Paper and ink shows you care. It is also a proven technology.

Good luck.