Ask HN: How to make living easier for old parents?

7 points by gits1225 3 years ago | 4 comments

mswen 3 years ago |

It all depends.... if we were having a private conversation I would be asking about all of the following. But I wouldn't really recommend getting too specific about some of these on a public forum.

> How old?

> Current health status? Chronic illnesses? Cognitive health?

> Current level of independence or dependence for daily living?

> Recognition of need for assistance?

> Level of wealth, property, investments and liquid cash?

> Level of income - degree still dependent on parents working FT, PT or now on pension, social security or other retirement monthly income?

> Level of debts needing to be paid off or serviced?

> Presence of non-family social support?

> Living proximity to you?

> How much time monthly can you devout to helping?

> What is your own financial strength and ability / willingness to help financially?

> What level of trust do your parents have in you?

> How comfortable are your parents with technology?

> Do your parents have access to high speed internet?

> Availability of assisted living and/or nursing home facilities

> And more

I personally have walked a pretty long road of being the lead caregiver, guardian during 20 years of declining health and increased dependence from my own parents with each eventually dying in their mid-80s.

It feels like the only generic advice is something like the following.

> Spend regular time with them and pay attention to changes

> Keep their dignity in mind - no one likes the process of becoming more dependent on others

> Be willing to calmly but firmly advocate for them with doctors and institutional caregivers

> Technology may not help nearly as much as you imagine

> Effective assistance will be more expensive in time and money than you currently envision

gits1225 3 years ago | |

I'm beginning to address these questions as I'm noticing my parents becoming old. Both of them are able to take care of themselves at present and I'm asking around to understand if there are things I can be prepared for.

> Effective assistance will be more expensive in time and money than you currently envision.

Yea

enviclash 3 years ago |

Keep renovating details of their home. Find an unemployed person that can visit/accompany/drive them (doctors, shpping, small home repairs, ...) on a regular basis, like weekly. Find and kick-start them a small orchard. These made a difference in my limited experience.

helph67 3 years ago |

You could do them (and yourself) a favour by telling them how good the Mediterranean diet is for their health. https://edition.cnn.com/2022/01/04/health/mediterranean-diet...