Ask HN: Are you usually late, and if so why?

13 points by dshanahan 3 years ago | 20 comments

Point of contention with my wife, but I'm increasingly surprised that quite a lot of the investors, entrepreneurs, and business owners I cross paths with are habitually late.

There was a point in my life where I was just, like, never late again. I actually know that I've been late for (or downright missed) 4 meetings in 2022, because when it happens it sits with me.

Are you late a lot?

And if so, what's the underlying reason?

jameshush 3 years ago |

I lived in Los Angeles for 7ish years. Great place, but it was mind boggling to me how often people were late (as a first generation Canadian with British parents). To the point where I'd show up to _job interviews_ 10 minutes early and the recruiter would tell me, "Oh! We usually start the interview 15 minutes later than we tell candidates because everyone is late." Even more surprising to me was amount of people who would _say_ they would come to an event and simply not show up last minute without even a text.

I live in Taipei now and that simply doesn't happen. My theory for the difference is in LA it's culturally acceptable to be late because people can blame the traffic for everything. Also, LA is a lot more transitive, with people moving in and out all the time.

Taipei is on an island, there's a lot less people who move in and out compared to LA so it's a lot more likely you'll bump into the same person multiple times. Also, everyone takes the metro, which is always on time, so you have to take responsibility for being late. (You can't just blame "traffic").

m463 3 years ago |

I used to be late a lot.

Then one friend called me on it - "You don't value my time."

So I made it a priority - but the learning curve was steeper than I thought.

It's hard to be on time. You have to figure out how long it really takes to do things - not just fastest I ever did it. You can't be distracted, and you have to do things like say "no" or "i have to go".

Actually having a car nav system helps me be on time (provides arrival time) and I can text ahead my ETA.

dshanahan 3 years ago | |

gosh, that 3rd sentence is TRUTH. i will say it feels like muscle memory after a while.

mattpallissard 3 years ago |

Nope. I structure my entire life around not being in a rush. I pad all my prep and travel time excessively. Being early is an incidental side effect.

I'd rather lose 45 minutes of extra sleep and take my sweet time getting out the door than any of the alternatives.

sn0w_crash 3 years ago |

I personally arrive early to everything. If you’re not early, you’re late.

Investors, board members, advisors, customers - they can all arrive late.

You must not.

dshanahan 3 years ago | |

I agree with this, and generally this is why I'm always early.

danwee 3 years ago |

I guess it's because in general it's hard to be on time. If you rely on public transportation (I do) most probably you either arrive early or arrive late. So you ask yourself: do I want to wait for others 20 min. or do I allow myself to arrive late 5 min.? So, I usually choose the latter. Obviously if I can arrive 5 min. earlier and wait for others, then I will choose that.

muzani 3 years ago |

I think it's some form of being cheap, for a lack of a better word. You know like how someone would buy a product that's below required quality because they're cheap? Being late is some attempt to squeeze more out of limited time. It's usually irrational behavior.

mikewarot 3 years ago |

I used to be chronically late, until I realized that it takes me 10+ minutes to leave the house, and I always was hopelessly optimistic on time estimates.

My wife calls it "Warot Time", and usually multiples my worst case estimate by 3. ;-)

It's a good thing I'm pseudo-retired

dshanahan 3 years ago | |

Haha, I do think pseudo-retired adds some level of 'getting a pass' on this, culturally.

I do think (at least for my wife) it's the estimate of time required to get to The Thing at a Specific Time that is inaccurate or overly optimistic, like all the time.

poly_morphis 3 years ago |

I'm late under different circumstances.

My first class in the morning, I'm usually always at least a few minutes late. It's a bad habit. Later classes, since I'm already on-campus, I find it really hard to be late, and am usually several minutes early.

If it's a work meeting, I'm usually always early or right on-time. This goes for one-on-one meetings in any circumstance, or in general events where I'm expected to contribute something.

The thing about being late to lecture is that it goes on with or without you. You're usually not letting anyone down by being late.

dshanahan 3 years ago | |

Ah yes, I'm definitely most interested in the stuff that 'begs your presence' as opposed to joining an audience or likewise. Good distinction.

mbg721 3 years ago |

From time to time there will be spans of a few days where I'm always running late, and the thing that snaps me out of it is getting a good night's sleep.

dshanahan 3 years ago | |

Sleep is a superpower. Sleep is the strongest legal drug.

Raed667 3 years ago |

I used to own a car, so my ETA was guided by Google Maps or Waze, which were pretty accurate.

Now that I take public transportation (tramway, bus, train, city-bikes) I have a lot less control about the exact time of arrival (even though I use a pretty good app).

I need to adjust.

quickthrower2 3 years ago |

I am default late so I just put things on my calendar earlier than they actually are to compensate. Then early.

A good habit is doomscroll your calendar once a day instead of $socials.

highwayman47 3 years ago |

For anything requiring in-person presence before 11AM yes, but not otherwise.

bobkazamakis 3 years ago |

ADHD

ggeorgovassilis 3 years ago | |

How was the trip to East Europe?

JetAlone 3 years ago |

-Start work late

-Work hours are long, goes on too late into the day

-Revenge night burn

-Sleep too late

-Rolls into weekends, very hard to be ready for plans.