The usual script was the following:

What went well?

- New team member, yippie, welcome ;) (if there were any)

- We fixed this and that bug, completed this and that (repeating what was said during standup meetings)

What went bad?

- Team member is leaving, sniff :'( (if there were any)

- This and that broke or took longer to work on (repeating what was said during standup meetings)

Action points to make everything better in the future:

- Do this and that (the same action points at the end of every retrospective. Never follow them up, never act on them)

Repeat everything 2-3 weeks later.