Ask HN: How to Get Back in Life? What would you suggest a person who is in mid twenties, lost all their confidence, and has almost given up on being productive? |
Ask HN: How to Get Back in Life? What would you suggest a person who is in mid twenties, lost all their confidence, and has almost given up on being productive? |
I set goals and went from depressed / burnt out barely breaking 14hrs a week to over 50 now.
Progress is slow, it feels like I'm behind my peers both in terms of skill and $$ but progress feels okay for now.
I'm nearing my 30s and it sucks but progress is all you can work towards - understanding what you really want is important.
I realized I wanted nothing to do with the "game" being played by my friends in New York so I left, got over it and I'm much happier now.
Do you have enough food, shelter, and money to carry you through the next few months? If not, that's probably the first goal.
Do you have an income, from steady work or from another source, that allows you to maintain a basic standard of living? If not, that's probably the second goal.
Do you have an income, but your job sucks, is unfulfilling, or you want a higher standard of living? Changing your work or primary activities for more money or more fulfillment is probably your third goal.
Do you have enough people in your life to meet your emotional needs? Do you have some creative outlet or spiritual practice? If not, finding some sort of fulfillment is probably your last goal.
4/4 is quite hard to do! Start with where you are now, and try to make whatever progress you can.
If you've got physical health problems, you've gotta do what you can with those, and if you've got dependents you've got to take care of them too as best you can.
Last, the way you phrased things sounds similar to the way that people in who are depressed talk. So I'm going to go out on a limb: Depression fucking sucks in ways that people who haven't been depressed struggle to understand. If you're depressed things are going to be harder and take way longer than you'd like. But most people who get depressed are not depressed forever. Most depression comes in episodes that eventually lift. Many who get depressed are able to eventually build fulfilling and happy lives. There's hope. If you're in the pits you might not be capable of feeling hope right now, but it is there, and it is possible for things to get better.
The sad episode kicked in because of the current market. I have no experience to show, no remarkable achievements, no cool projects, and everything is vanilla. This process spiraled downward to current stage.
Also graduation is taking longer than I expected.
Since this is HN I'm guessing it's something IT or STEM related, and you are applying for jobs. Getting a first job is hard, but you're in the situation you're in with the resources you've got now, so the only thing you can do is work with the situation you're in.
I would continue applying for the sort of work you're already applying to, while finishing the requirements to graduate. Consider relaxing your criteria for type of work, prestige, or geography. If you are not getting interviews, have someone review your resume or increase your volume of applications. If you aren't getting callbacks from interviews, try to figure out why.
Your other option is to find work in an unrelated field, either before or after graduation. That can be a good thing to do just to get some money in the door, and to keep yourself busy doing anything. Bonus points if you're around other people doing it. The downside is that it takes time away from graduation or job applications within your field.
https://kierantie.com/a/burnout
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/05/smarter-living/workplace-...
https://muddylemon.com/2011/05/27/depression-burn-out-and-wr...
I will review my resume and try to make it better! Figuring out the rejection is the hardest part.
A trick that has sometimes helped me is to think of each no as a success, getting you closer to a yes. So rejection stings, but every rejection means you completed on application, and statistically speaking you're going to get a yes at some point. Or, at the very least, if you've gone so long and have gotten N hundred rejections you know it probably won't work and you'll have to make alternate plans.
I will start preparing for this! As an alternative I am thinking of PhD but that requires good grades in Master and I messed it up. So I have to think backup of backup!