But trying to look past that I'm still failing to understand that this is about it what you're meant you be doing.

No no no. Stop with the senseless proliferation of pills. If pills were the solution we would not see the huge need for talk therapy - which works only if there is a genuine therapeutic relationship. If you think this further, if you’re in a situation where your therapist is the only non-toxic person in your environment and the only person you can truly connect to, then it’s not your “brain chemistry” but the toxic environment you need to get out of. Don’t take pills to endure shit. Don’t drink coffee to replace sleep.