Too bad we can't make NYTimes and all of the other interminable screaming news organizations who constantly yammer about terrible things and inveigle their way into every aspect of American life STFU forever.

Yes, obviously.

OTOH, the correct strategy for maximizing an American university's prestige, influence, and endowment has long been to zealously position it as a Holy Academic Church. The Faithful should be incapable of having any question or concern, however minor, which is not addressed in the Official Catechism of the University. Their lives of loyal worship of the University should culminate in their willing every dollar they've been able to beg, borrow, or steal to Its Holy Endowment at the end of the mortal tenures. Thus will they find themselves in New Cambridge, reunited with all the Faithful Alumni who have gone before them, and admitted into the Crimson Gates, to sing sacred songs of praise...

/s?