I'm a homeowner with a home charger. When I get home I plug in. It doesn't usually start charging until way late in the evening. Currently it's just on a timing schedule I set up once, but soon it'll be linked to my electric provider to automatically shift to whatever is an off-peak time for them and I'll get a discount on my bill. In the end I can still tell it to just go ahead and charge but typically it's going to sit there overnight and I can normally go a few days between charges anyways.

Pretty much every recent model EV can do this on its own. Many EVSEs (Electric Vehicle Supply Equipment, the "charger") that have any level of smarts can also do this. My EVSE is just a dumb one, it just tells the car it's capabilities and it's up to the car to choose when to charge.

Adding an EV to my house didn't change my peak usage at all.

> I guess there could be software in cars that tells them to delay charging past evening peak demand, but I guess there will be a mechanism for the car owner to bypass that.

The most widely adopted EVs in the US and elsewhere have had this feature from the start.

https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/model3/en_us/GUID-76995CE...

https://www.nissanusa.com/experience-nissan/news-and-events/...

https://www.wheelsjoint.com/how-to-schedule-charging-on-hyun...

This syste exists in the UK and is available to consumers.

See https://www.ovoenergy.com/electric-cars/charge-anytime

Why are you talking as if this "could exist"?

It already exists in almost every EV...