I’ve been in tech for over 12 years. Last year, I survived cancer — and that experience completely shifted my perspective on time and meaning.

Life is too short to spend it chasing things that don’t matter.

My current company isn’t doing well, and so I started looking at other jobs. It’s what I’ve been conditioned to do — optimize for a higher salary or a more “stable” brand name(The former more than the latter), even at the cost of my health or family time or interests or just in general life. I don't know anything else.

But the deeper I get into interviews, the more pointless it feels. It’s all starting to look like a never-ending rat race.

Why do I feel that switching companies and chasing higher pay is futile? Because most of the work — even at top-tier companies — is basic or mildly challenging at best. I’d likely be overpaid to do very simple tasks, while moving towards becoming “too expensive” to retain or hire again.

I could just accept a better-paying role, check the boxes, and keep the treadmill running. But that feels like optimizing for something artificial — a construct I no longer believe in. What scares me is waking up again in 3–4 years, just as lost or worse ruining my health again.

I want to work on hard problems. Or maybe start something of my own Or work in a compiler optimization shop Or maybe just give up everything and become a hermit. IDK. Or I could call this life, suck it up and do what I've been doing.

Did anyone else also go through this?