Ask HN: Career Burnout Looking for Options

21 points by ultrasounder 222 days ago | 27 comments

Hi HN, Long time lurker and occasional contributor here. I recently moved to a "high-growth" Startup after spending some significant time in enterprise/corporate. It turned out be a mutual "culture mis-fit" issue. I am burnt-out within the first two weeks of being there and I have asked them to terminate my employment immediately so that I can file for unemployment with state of California(my home state). Right now I am in a technical non-software/Hardware role and have been for the last 20 years since graduating from Grad-school. I tried pivoting into the "next shiny object" several times to no-avail(AR/VR/DS/ML/AI). I even tried getting into the whole "Leetcode" FAANG rat race and eventually gave up on that. I am contemplating on what my next potential career move could be. Truth be told, I have the financial security both from my savings, 401Ks and a spouse who is gainfully employed in a tech role at one of the Big-tech companies(that has a product in every "office"). So, I could just "retire" now and pursue other things. But, I want to lead a productive life , doing something meaningful and worthwhile with the time active work time I have on my hands(I am 47 will turn 48 this feb). Son will be off to college next year and won't have any time pressures. His college fund is taken care of. 80,000 hrs was suggested before. And so was techjobsforgood mentioned before (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40325501). A few of my core-strengths - I am generally a good person to be around, have always made good relationships with my peers and external vendors. So though not a people manager person, I like working with people. Sorry for the rant, but I am in huge mental turmoil and any iota of collective wisdom from HN would just save me not just my career but my "mid-life crisis" as well. I find posting this to HN much more therapeutic than to say "Chat with GPT". Thanks for reading.

begemotz 222 days ago |

I would echo the sentiment of taking some time. The way to think of this is not as "time off" - but acknowledging that you have the time and space (and resources) to thoughtfully consider your next move. Don't make important decisions under a time-pressure that is self-imposed. Instead, take a month to consider what you want to do during the next state of life - and be grateful that you have the opportunity to consider your next move from this point of view.

ultrasounder 222 days ago | |

Thanks!. Very thoughtfully framed around gratitude.

leakycap 222 days ago |

If you only had 1 year left to live, what would you do?

Do that. If it gets old, switch gears immediately.

As far as we all know, today could be the last for any of us. Less planning, more living/doing/going.

ultrasounder 222 days ago | |

interesting thought. I have this "side project" that I started working with some ex-colleagues that I could see sprouting some legs. My CA UI(unemployment insurance) benefits could potentially fund this for the time being when I do some soul searching and contemplating.

AndrewKemendo 222 days ago | | |

This is the right answer I think

I did this a few years ago after the layoff wave and it was transformative

amerkhalid 222 days ago | |

Another question to ask is what you’d do when you retire. This really helped me figure out what to focus on now.

Questions like “what would you do if you won the lottery” feel too unrealistic, so I would just dream about wild startup ideas.

The “one year left to live” question is better than the lottery question, but thinking about retirement may provide another perspective.

sdotdev 222 days ago |

I'd recommend (if you can afford it of course) to take some time off and see if you can work on something for yourself without a deadline or someone in your ear, just peace and building. Like a structured hobby.

VirusNewbie 222 days ago |

Do you like working? If you like working and solving problems, it sounds like you have some time to learn new skills and find a company that would value your contributions.

There are small companies/startups that would presumably trade your experience and a desire to not be overworked for a moderate salary.

You obviously can't act like you're looking for a 'chill' job in the interview, but you can be on the lookout for companies that are a bit more relaxed, and if you aren't trying to maximize your comp, they probably will be OK if you don't put in 'startup hours'

iswapna_ 222 days ago |

I would suggest reading Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks. I do not agree with everything in it, but it does talk about the common problem of wanting to shift to a life of meaning and connections and possibly giving back. I am not sure if everyone ends up finding a purpose, but some do, myself included. I am deeply thankful for that. Looking at baby pictures is helpful to me, my kids, friends etc. How long a way we have come.

devrundown 222 days ago |

Sorry that you are experiencing this.

It's hard to give advice on this sort of topic because I think it is very personal and everyone has unique circumstances.

Have you considered just taking some time off, potentially focusing on hobbies or personal projects and maybe after some so called "down" time an answer would be more clear?

ultrasounder 222 days ago | |

Thanks!. Yes. Definitely one of the TOP priorities right now is to "Take the time off" and assess my priorities. In fact, my sons's College Apps could use some help :-)

devrundown 222 days ago | | |

What worked for me (not saying this will work for you but just to give ideas) is I told myself I couldn't do any sort of development for a couple of weeks at the very least. Get off the computer as much as possible and do other things.

I did a lot of walking, listening to and reading books/audiobooks, hanging out in coffee shops, meeting up with friends.

After my self imposed ban from the computer I started to get the itch to develop again and started working on stuff I wanted to work on and not something I was told to develop.

propablythrown 222 days ago |

I don't have advice, all I wanted to say is: As a software developer who will almost certainly never retire, with little savings and living in a craphole of a country somewhere far from the USA, I wish I could be in your position.

pixelready 221 days ago |

I think Hashimoto has the right idea with Ghostty. If you have the financial / time freedom (and the spousal support) to tinker with a passion project, that seems like a great way to spend your time and skills without commercial pressures contributing to burnout.

I always like Neal Stephenson’s approach with his Sci-Fi novels too. Most of them have a central conceit based around a topic he wanted to learn more about (linguistics, nanotech, cryptography, etc…), so in essence writing the novel was just an excuse to obsess about that topic for a while.

7222aafdcf68cfe 222 days ago |

Have you considered stepping away from startups and shiny-thing, fast growth companies and looking for a role in a company for whom software is not their primary product, or that are in slower moving industries ? Try out insurance/banking, telecommunications, or industrial equipment manufacturers.

moomoo11 221 days ago |

Do a lifestyle startup? Your terms, one man shop type shit.

Or become a consultant?

I’m sure there are things you’re passionate about (doesn’t have to be tech only, maybe you’re a hobbyist carpenter) and know deeply that you can share (for a price) with others.

sph 220 days ago | |

I did for a while, then I burned out of that, too.

A one man software business is very unlike being a craftsman; the work becomes a small part compared to having to do marketing, public relations, accounting, management (of external contractors to whom you hopefully delegate some work load). The problem also is that software never ends.

I figured I like being a craftsman, an artisan on well-defined projects that have a start and a natural end; not a salesman that also needs to find time to work on their eternally-growing product.

paulcole 222 days ago |

> I have asked them to terminate my employment immediately so that I can file for unemployment with state of California(my home state).

You don’t ever need anyone’s permission to file for unemployment but telling somebody, “I need you to fire me” is probably not going to work in your favor.

And isn’t max benefit in CA $450/week? I get that it’s better than nothing but you’re probably earning a lot more than that.

> So, I could just "retire" now and pursue other things. But, I want to lead a productive life

From an outside perspective this is a wild statement. Why not retire and pursue a productive life?

Do you really have a clear personal definition of what a productive life looks like to you or is it 100% defined by “working”?

You might be interested in the book Tiny Experiments. It seems like from your track record you set these big goals and then move onto another before seeing anything through? And you feel like you missed out because you never “achieved” what you thought you wanted?

This book presents a very different approach to life that will probably seem very foreign to you but might be interesting and worth pursuing.

I also recommend Tao Te Ching to everyone.

ultrasounder 222 days ago | |

Thanks for the book recommendations. Will absolutely check them out. No productive life for me is to be of “some use to others”. That’s what I am contemplating about. Also true regarding jumping from one goal to another without seeing the previous one through. Need to work on that too.

tkjef 222 days ago |

After burning out I thought through several business ideas, but ended up starting a fruit tree farm and getting a motorcycle. Having a blast!

ultrasounder 221 days ago | |

Nice :-)

giantg2 220 days ago |

If don't need the money, volunteer somewhere.

_jsmh 214 days ago |