You’re Doing it Wrong

Didn’t you realize it? You can’t use what you’re using like that. You’re setting yourself up for all sorts of problems. That’s fine if you’re just getting started. But I wouldn’t call that a professional job. You want to do a professional job, right?

Here are a bunch of other things you’ll need to install. Configure them all. Rip all those other things out. They’re nothing but trouble. No one is going to take you seriously, otherwise.

What? It didn’t work? Did you check your configuration? Did you follow all the steps? Did you read the code? It works for everyone else, so it must be you. It’s a simple setup. Just make these files and run these command line tools. Or better yet, just submit patches to make it work. You do code, right? Your infra is important right? So stop working on that other stuff and focus on that infra.

Oh, you’re on that operating system? Well that’s not really supported. I mean it’s not for serious work, right? Besides, it will just slow you down for the containers you need to run. No, not those kinds of containers. I mean, sure, people used to use those containers. But they won’t scale. Not really.

You want to scale, right? Which is why you can’t do it that way. You have to think rack-scale. No, don’t think rack-scale, that’s last sentence thinking. You need to think data center scale. No, you need to scale for multiple regions. No, multiple planets. You have a plan for a satellite data center, as in space, right?

And the features! You don’t even have those features! Everyone has those features or they’ve announced those features. Sure, it doesn’t seem like your customers want it now. It doesn’t seem like it has anything to do with your application, for now. But customers will want it. It’s table stakes. You have to have it.

What metrics are you tracking? Those? Those are the wrong metrics. And your “metrics” barely scratch the surface. Do you even have metrics about the metrics you collect? How can you effectively collect metrics unless you collect metrics on those metrics? This is just common sense.

And who are your strategic partners. Do you even have partnerships with the big players. No, not those players. Bigger players. The biggest. You need strategic relationships with everyone. But not those people, they’re just weird little players. You need to roll with biggest and best in all their classes.

And what do you think your site is about? Is it really about that? Isn’t it about unlocking everyone’s potential? Isn’t it really about hopes and dreams? That’s why you need to use those frameworks. That’s why you need to put your data centers in space. That’s why you need those features. That’s why you need those metrics. Because you’re disrupting your business. No, you’re disrupting all business. No, you’re disrupting the very essence of reality itself.