A little bit of back story. Since my funds are running low and I'm in no mood to pick up my things and move to a city where my new home will be an RV near the I-10 in California, Texas, or Florida, I just want to stay here in the Midwest where gas is under $3 and the Cardinals or the Blues sometimes make it to post-season sportsball. This Ronald Regan BS where "If you can't find a job, move" never answers the follow up of "OK, how am I gonna pay to go somewhere that is more expensive, where housing, fuel, utilities, food, etc. cost more than what they do where I already am, and I get let go two weeks after on-boarding?" Yeah, never answer for that part, is there?

Years ago, I had worked as a merchandiser for a subcontractor in the garden department that worked at a rival chain when it was 112 degrees outside, watering the flowers where I worked part time. I found that job on Craigslist, but I forget why I was let go. Maybe they didn't want to be held liable for a cut on my hand which wasn't that big or deep. (I likely mishandled some roses or something. The first day on the job, I had bought a first aid kit for that reason.)

So, last week, I decide to give applying for a Warehouse position at the local Lowe's Home Improvement. They started using the career A.I. to have you sign up for work. I answered all the questioned honestly...although I was confused as to how to answer the language question. While English is my first language, I do know plenty of Spanish. I just check the box that said "I prefer not to disclose" that way they could just ask me at the interview.

Everything seemed to be alright. I got an email invite set up for a 30 minute in-person interview. I was excited to go. I clicked confirm to add it to my calendar, and not five minutes later, the event was rescinded, removed from my calendar. Like "what the heck?" I added the event to my calendar again, thinking it was some kind of error.

Around midnight, another automated message. A rejection message. Like how did this go from an assured interview with a human being to a rejection before even speaking to anyone?

It's difficult enough getting a job when you are disabled (neurodivergent) and over 40. I'm pretty sure my tech career is over with A.I. taking over things that it shouldn't, and being put in charge of thing that it really ought not to be in charge of.

I have bills to pay and a home I'd like to still live in. how is it that I can't even get THAT job, but they'll hire someone either 20 years older than me who should be retired or someone 20 years younger than me who can't stop looking at their phone for five mines to help customers?

I don't think this is about resumes and cover letters. And I really don't want to play this game anymore. It's made me less social, more isolated, and has me worried at all hours about losing my place.

I could be fixing computers or selling computer stuff or working at some local consulting company, but almost all my applications get no response or rejected. And yet I go to network events (which are now just once a month because there is only one, and more frequently attended by out of town headhunters trying to poach us into moving to said place I mention in the first paragraph), social events (which are now just twice a month).

My sleep cycle is in the toilet. I don't have enough money to seek therapy as frequently as I want.

It's like everything is gone.

I'm ether "not qualified enough", "over qualified", and now "too old".

But this, A.I....I'm supposed to be stoic about it and be so excited about it. I didn't want this "well maybe you should take a trade" or "move on to the farm, comrade" nonsense. I knew where I wanted to work, and apply my skills. But this CRAP where I can't even get a job working at the store that is a mile from my home, has open position, is something I'm interested and some knowledge that I can work with...how did I not become good enough for even a shitty job?