Did moving to new place have intended effect? A common thought is that moving to a new place can shake up life for the good. Though many times we bring our same old self and not much changes. Would love to hear from you all about how expectations met realities post-move. I am thinking of fairly conventional moves, like Boston to Pittsburgh or Indy to Chicago (not to an island or cabin in the woods). Thank you |
I moved to San Francisco about 5 years ago. I can tell you, it was all WORTH IT! I'm still amazed by the city and the life around me. 5 years later it still impresses me. I feel like I'm living in a movie, and I'm a main character in a movie! I became a better version of myself. I can't imagine being myself if I'd stay back in my country.
p.s. those are my feelings. Obviously life around me is not ideal. There is no such place as ideal, but it works for me despite many-many-many problems that I have in my life right now.
Perhaps because of that background, I’m fundamentally someone who embraces change. I’m always striving to become a better person through trial and error. Because I keep evolving, there’s sometimes a disconnect when old friends expect me to be the person they knew long ago, and I used to struggle with how to handle that.
Putting yourself in a new environment means you get to leave behind everyone's preconceived notions of you, both the good and the bad. It’s a bit scary, but it’s incredibly meaningful to have a clean slate to work on yourself. You might not be able to completely change who you are overnight, but starting with small, incremental changes is definitely possible, isn't it?
I've also moved internally within Japan multiple times each time for better job prospects and those have also turned out well.
The one thing that hasn't changed much is myself. I'm not a social person and take time to get used to people. Particularly, I don't enjoy alcohol and thus do not frequent the local drinking holes. That has definitely had an effect on my social circle.
I have only one advice for you, if you're expecting change, you have to be prepared to change yourself too.
I had no friends there and was bored so I started dating* and doing sports. I was lonely and miserable for a while until I met my wife. From this time my life started making more sense.
The change of scenery helped. Had I stayed I would probably still be single and complaining about not meeting anyone interesting.
* The dating itself was a miserable failure, but I met a woman offline by chance who didn't do online dating.
It will be important to make friends quickly.
I've seen too many people who want to "start over" by moving, then crash and burn because they don't have any realistic plans or contingencies (which can include money - moving is expensive, especially if you don't have a job).
Each has been good for me and my family.
But, in no small part that is because I have always been an outsider. So moving has never meant giving up much of a support network, breaking strong community ties, abandoning a geography of happy memories, etc.
Only the first move was to a place I had spent meaningful time before moving. The second move was to a town where I had spent a few hours for a fly-in/fly-out interview. The third was to an MSA I hadn’t been to within one desert and three mountain ranges of.
Again, each has been good for us. That doesn’t imply anything except it is possible to upgrade where you live (and it is probably easier to upgrade to the degree where you live makes you unhappy (for whatever reasons). Good luck.
[edit] have a careful think about intended effects. Relocation is a leap into the unknowable. The great recession scuttled the professional ambitions that formed part of my second relocation. Covid massively shaped my experiences at my current location.o