Becoming a dad changes men's brains(scientificamerican.com) |
Becoming a dad changes men's brains(scientificamerican.com) |
But a more concrete thing: While before I might have been saddened about bad things happening to kids, like any normal person would, after having kids myself I experience an stronger reaction:
I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.
This is how Israel's war radicalized me, I stopped watching videos, but they made me depressed, burned out, angry, because everytime I watched videos, my brain started asking "what would I do if this happened to my kids, would I join Hamas? probably yes"
I got burned out from these thoughts
I had a look at the local courts' agendas, and I was appalled by how many SA/CSAM cases there were. Probably half of them or so. Not just to children, but there's more than one case every week of that, and this is in a population of a few hundred thousand.
Still not enough reason to do all the CSAM scanning the governments want big tech to do, but it's definitely bigger than I though. (Or just easier to gather evidence on now, so that's what gets into courts...)
The BBC and UK news readers in general absolutely love stories about child abusers, so they get prominent placing (and even a live blog on the sentencing last week)
I had a small mental breakdown anticipating that this was going to happen while my wife was pregnant with our first. It didn't. I ended up replacing the part of my life that was video escapism with kids and kept everything else the same. Three kids in, things are going great.
>I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.
Replace ill with enraged and I have had the same experience. The strong emotions were a bit of a surprise.
I can relate.
There were a lot of days on which I cried more than the baby. Diagnosed with anxiety disorder, but then they said it comes with ADHD and probably has little to do with the baby.
> As many as one in 10 men will experience paternal postnatal depression or anxiety. The symptoms often look different in dads—anger or sudden outbursts
Oh well.
I had less time, less energy, and my tolerance for BS plummeted accordingly.
Now, I can read the headlines, but I still can't read the articles.
Our second born, taught me that exact same lesson, again - that no matter what, there will always be three human beings in my life for which my love is infinite, and that I would step in front of a bullet for any one of them.
Whereas before it all went down, I was pretty much all alone, now I know for sure there are 3 other human beings I will want to say goodbye to, properly, some day.
Men need that type of environment if they want to stay sharp phisically and mentally.
Once a pack ends, it is important to form a new one as soon as possible, hopefully with guys who regularly use prostitutes and escorts so they are not likely to fall next.
When my wife got pregnant, it stopped. I started having nightmares about bad things happening to my son instead.
Fun.
I had not experienced fear prior to becoming a father. The thought of one of my children being ... i'm not even going to say anything more. Use your imagination. That kind of thing scares me so much more than it did before I was a father.
I was very glad to have been late to that particular meeting. It would have been pretty awkward for everyone if I'd started crying at the table.
i hate this phrase and how it's generally used for scare-mongering headlines.
I personally don't think it's meant to scare-monger, either - although I'm sure opinions may differ on the subject.
What is unique about being a dad is having a living breathing creature depend on you. There are hormones exchanged. AND you're learning and doing something. AND you're remembering (and having to deal with) your own childhood memories. And realizing that in your memories, you were the kid ... now you're the adult. It's different.
Best not go overboard on this whole thing about fathers and increased empathy, though.
Elon Musk has a father, after all. So did Donald Trump.
The Roblox CEO has children. Magical universal father empathy is clearly not working out there, or he would shut down his business and give any remaining money to charities.
I have a 2-year old daughter so I can relate in part, she just joined a pre-school now (breaks my heart to drop her) and same as your #1 - top notch nutrition, supps, probitiocs and so-on (deeply studied & argued) and chef level taste, never had once something in her mouth that isn't vouched :p
Chose breastfeeding entirely for the first 6 months (better for their brain as per my knowledge), then introduced solids progressively, I'm super grateful to be in the AI era at the same moment I've had my daughter because it allows me to study extensively everything regarding children.
why/how is ice cubed food better than yams or whatever is for dinner
We know that food isn't equal, and we know that food can change your brain/energy level/memory... both as children and as adults which indirectly affect life outcomes.
Actually, anyone that has started eating properly (lower portions, never be full, always eating useful things) can attest that they are just overall a better person, healthier, fitter, sharper...
The second one, though, she was a scavenger. I woke up to her crunching on something. She was eating pistachios -- shell and all!