Wow this is very bad. This actually happens in typical Postgres setups?
in pgbouncer the connection is reset via a customisable command [0] which should reset the connection to a clean state.
[0] https://www.pgbouncer.org/config.html#server_reset_query
We show that it's possible to come close without breaking the DB or the app, but I suspect, it's not quite yet at the level you'd expect from a _durable_ work queue, e.g., Kafka. Not going to replace that one anytime soon.
The notify/listen fix and automatic query routing to read replicas and auto sharding might bringt Postgres finally closer to vitess