Ask HN: I find many "no men", what are "yes men" like?

5 points by jmilinion 13 years ago | 6 comments

I'm used to knocking at a lot of doors and hearing the word "no" or "your idea needs major work". I'm a nobody - that's expected. I use the information they give me to self-improve and figure out what's wrong with the world.

For those successful people out here, what's it like hearing the word "yes" or "your idea is brilliant" all time? Even when you tell them your worst idea, they tell you how great your idea is. What's it like when everyone opens their door for you? How do you self-improve and figure out what's wrong with the world when everyone is saying yes?

chris_dcosta 13 years ago |

Traditionally a "Yes Man" was a subordinate who did whatever his boss (it was always a man) asked.

Ask any singer or actor, hearing "You are great" all the time means you cannot trust anyone's judgement. If someone says "No" or "I don't like it", you can always follow up with the question "Please can you tell me why?"

decauth 13 years ago |

Nobody bats 1000. To extend the metaphor, a baseball player is considered highly successful if he can hit one out of three pitches.

People tend to emphasize their successes. Not only does it naturally fit our desire to inflate our ego but confidence is often considered important to attracting others to ventures.

This skewed emphasis is especially prominent online. See http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/24/why-facebook-makes-you...

jaredsohn 13 years ago |

I have received feedback on projects I have worked on both at tech meetups and from potential users on the web. For me, it is more helpful to hear why the person feels the way that they do. In both cases, listening to how a person interprets my project helps me hone my marketing and feature prioritization.

t0 13 years ago |

It's simply a matter of statistics. The successful guy probably started a dozen businesses that failed completely. But you don't hear about those.

Nobody succeeds 100% of the time, or even often. Try your best, but try over and over again.

mapster 13 years ago |

if you hire the 'no men', they suddenly become 'yes men'. funny how that works.

orangethirty 13 years ago |

Its never always yes. Never. You always face a challenge.