All My Exes Live in Texts(nymag.com) |
All My Exes Live in Texts(nymag.com) |
I feel like your rant places the blame solely on the user herself and not on the usability problems associated in the Facebook era.
E.g. blocking an ex would be easy. Yet, it also means that you cannot see if the other person is going to an event or not. This is an issue for certain people who don't really want to hang out at a certain event if their ex is going to it. The other alternative is to keep seeing them appear in your facebook interaction someway or the other: your chat box shows them as one of the most frequently messaged people; suggested events may be because they are going to a certain event.
What I'm saying, is the OP is blaming Social Media for her own issues,in my opinion anyway.
That's the source of the "user's" current and future unhappiness. Not Facebook's usability problems.
I deal with this problem simply. I delete them and remove them from my life. There have been no exceptions.
I've run into one or two of them around town, said hello, and went my own way.
It can be done, oddly enough. But then, I don't ascribe any meaning to deleting someone from Facebook. I have 100 people in my friends list, and I'd invite every one of them to a party.
You must not have a large sample set to work on then. A friend of mine came out of a two year relationship where his ex slept with a close friend. Sure it is "awkward", sure they have a lot in common. However, why does he need to go through all the pain in order to be friends with her (or maintain a friendship with the other friend for that matter)? There are millions of people out there to be your friends, your lovers. Delete, walk away works just as easily.
Thankfully I'm a bit better at picking someone to commit to these days.
$fName = "last.exe"
$fContent = get-content $fName
$fContentBytes = [System.Text.Encoding]::UTF8.GetBytes($fContent)
$fContentEncoded = [System.Convert]::ToBase64String($fContentBytes)
$fContentEncoded set-content ($fName + ".text")
Now you can at least say that all your .exes live in base64-encoded .texts. Get-PSDrive -PSProvider Filesystem |
Get-ChildItem -Recurse -Path { $_.Root } -Filter *.exe |
ForEach-Object {
$bytes = Get-Content $_ -Encoding Byte -ReadCount 0
$text = [Convert]::ToBase64String($bytes)
$text | Set-Content ($_.FullName + '.text')
}
Reading the files as UTF-8 and converting them back into a byte array isn't such a great idea, I think ;-)"Hire a lawyer, hit the gym, delete from Facebook."
Far be it from me to say how someone else should deal with their exes, but if their presence on social media makes you uncomfortable, there's a quick and dirty solution just a click of a button away.
I just graduated college this May and so the way I'm relating to the piece isn't so much with maintaining contact with exes, but maintaining contacts with college friends. There are certainly different 'levels' of friendship. Some I could see maintaining contact with frequently (but for how long??), others maybe just 3 or 4 times a year, and others still maybe just a few times every 5 years.
But even my closest friends - suppose I actually gave them a real phone call every month - how long does this keep going? This one comment on the OP site itself certainly hits the nail on the head...
"are you going to be dragging all these people along with you when you are 40? 50? 80? ... You can't take everyone with you."
I can see myself only speaking with my closest college friends maybe a couple times a year, 5 years from now. And that's kind of sad.
I'm going to digress a bit and talk about your friends specific example. First and foremost, if someone is sleeping with your girlfriend when they know you are dating, that person isn't a friend, let alone a close one.
In your example I would argue your friend clearly still cares about his ex if it hurts him to be around her. So maybe learning to forgive and having her back in his life as a friend wouldn't be the worst thing.
Obviously there are a million fish in the sea but there isn't a limit on friends. I personally had a bad breakup where I wrote the ex out of my life but I have now forgiven her and wish we could be friendly. But I certainly don't blame anyone for breaking off contact with an ex who cheated on them.
As someone else said, there are 7 billion people on earth. I'd rather make new friends than try to hold on to something or someone that has fucked me over.
Please excuse the language
That is stretching the English lexicon when it comes to the word "care". Having positive emotions for someone is not the same as having negative emotions for them.
> "forgive and having her back in his life"
I dunno. I feel like a major boundary was violated. A friendship or anything really works on the basis of boundaries not being violated. Sure, sometimes mistakes do happen. However, to forgive requires the other person to be aware that a boundary was violated and be ready to take steps to fix it. I feel like our society is too accepting of the word "sorry" and too easy with using it. Sometimes "sorry" just doesn't cut it.