Meetup Golf - a game I play to keep myself from networking wrong

Meetup Golf - a game I play to keep myself from networking wrong(blog.ledwards.com)

99 points by ledwards 12 years ago | 38 comments

_sentient 12 years ago |

I've personally found most networking events to be terrible when it comes to making meaningful connections.

I've found it's much more effective to just email someone you're interested in connecting with, introduce yourself, and invite them meet up sometime for a coffee (or beer, depending on the time of day).

If they say yes, it's because they are also interested in what you're doing, and this acts as a quality filter to ensure you're both moderately aligned in your interests and not wasting each other's time. Plus, the one-on-one setting lends itself to more interesting and personal conversations, which tends to have the friend-building effect the original author appeals to.

Networking doesn't come naturally to most people, but being friendly and personable usually does. I find that combining the two removes some of the awkwardness, and makes your efforts that much more effective.

osetinsky 12 years ago | |

The one-on-one aspect is huge. Our startup is trying to facilitate these kinds of informational coffee meetings:

Treatings: www.treatin.gs

We think there's something special about dating sites as compared to, say, Facebook or LinkedIn: everyone who has signed up has implicitly opted in to the possibility of being contacted by strangers to possibly meet up offline (though they aren't guaranteeing anything). Knowing that people have opted in like this makes most people more comfortable reaching out to strangers.

justinsteele 12 years ago | | |

"Treatings account created! We are currently beta testing in New York City and will notify you when we open elsewhere."

I'm based in Portland, ME but am often in NYC. I presume there is no simple way to use the site yet for me?

dominotw 12 years ago | | |

why was this downvoted?

mvkel 12 years ago | |

I agree entirely.

I got burned out with the 'tech event' echo chamber a couple years ago and haven't looked back.

I've done exactly what the parent suggests: I find people I'd love to connect with and email them with an idea. My emails, while not a formula go something like this:

- Tell them how I heard about them - Mention something I know about them that I appreciate - Ask them for help on [subject I'd love their feedback on] - Ask if they'd be up for a coffee

The "trick" behind these emails? Be 100% genuine. I have something I want to talk to them about and I'm convinced we'll have a fruitful conversation.

You don't always need to give something back, at least right away, but you'll often discover where you can contribute through natural conversation. Eventually, you'll be the receiver of the same type of email I mentioned above.

Thinking about the missives I've sent, I'd say 8/10 result in a coffee meeting, and a worthwhile connection made.

alimj 12 years ago | | |

I think the key to emailing cold is that you have to make it plausible that the other person can get something achieved for you in your connection. If you approach genuinely but don't know what you want out of the connection, then you're making it a risky endeavor for them in giving you their time. (and ain't nobody got time for that)

tocomment 12 years ago | | |

That sounds great. How do you find people you want to connect with though? Browsing on github by location somehow?

ledwards 12 years ago | |

That's really good advice for anyone, but particularly for people who haven't already built a large network yet. I find that as my network grows, I can often get a personal introduction to people I want to meet through a friend. This is actually one thing I do like LinkedIn for. A coworker pointed out that I skipped over this very effective use of LinkedIn when I bashed it with a larger hammer than necessary.

Aco- 12 years ago |

I prefer my method of "meetup golf", it's a little different than this one.

In my version of 'meetup golf' you basically go play golf, meet people who enjoy golf while doing so, ask them what they do for work, and 1/2 the time they are in tech or some form of tech (YMMV depending on where you live & play golf). At the end of the round you shake their hand and say "It was nice meeting you. Hey, listen, if you ever want to play golf in the future or need anything at all feel free to contact me" -- hand them your business card, 9 times out of 10 they will connect on linkedin or shoot an email thereafter.

You now have more in common with them than just your profession, you also share a hobby. Also consider there is a 19th hole in golf. This is a far better way to meet, befriend, and build a network that holds some weight.

rdouble 12 years ago | |

I wonder where you live. Golf is very unpopular with most tech people I know.

Aco- 12 years ago | | |

NY/NJ, I didn't say they were very young :P

speeder 12 years ago | |

Unfortunately that only works when you live in a place where people do play golf, and where playing golf does not cost a year of your income...

TreyS 12 years ago | | |

Most big cities in the U.S. have quality public courses that aren't horribly expensive. Near NYC, there's Bethpage (recently hosted U.S. Open) http://nysparks.com/golf-courses/11/fees-rates.aspx and near SF there's TPC Harding Park (http://www.tpc.com/tpc.asp?id=7&page=778 reasonably priced for SF residents). But yes joining a country club would be a year of your income.

Disclaimer: Never played either just heard positive things about both.

Edit: U.S. cities (no idea about elsewhere)

c0nsumer 12 years ago | |

This also works really well with cycling group rides.

hkmurakami 12 years ago | | |

Yup, I actually organize rides where I get friends and friends of friends to tag along, and it ends up being a natural way to make new friends and so called "network".

Hiking works great too, and there are lots of great hiking routes along the purissima hills in the SF Peninsula.

fellars 12 years ago | |

Let me know if you're ever in utah and want to play a round.

w3pm 12 years ago |

One thing I've wondered -- rather than spending so much effort building an extensive network, why not build a very small network of solid connections... with people who have lots of connections?

In any industry there are those individuals who seem to "know everyone," have been next to many industry-shifting moments one way or another, have worked at a half-dozen of the most important companies, etc etc. It's clear that a large part of their time is spent networking (after all, it's a hard job), and a large part of their value is as a connector. As an added bonus, because they're a connector and value having lots of connections, they should be open to the idea of getting to know you and forming another connection.

Why not just make connections with 6,7,8 of those people and then be done? You'd be one hop away to almost everyone in your industry with far less effort than actually getting to know everyone in your industry. Anyway, just theorizing at a more efficient way of networking. Agreed on the article's premises that a real network is with people you know as human beings.

totti 12 years ago |

All this requires I "go with a friend or two" to make more friends ... where do I find the initial friends :(

solistice 12 years ago | |

Not neccesairily. I did some small stints in the whole nightlife, promoting, etc. buisiness when I was 15, and knew noone. With 16, I considered myself pretty well connected in that crowd. You really have to go out your way to be "awesome", but it will get positive attention, and you'll slowly get to know the whole social circle around a given metier.

In retrospect, i had a weird childhood.

basicallydan 12 years ago |

Lee - I love this article. I think everybody should read it just to get the idea that this whole 'networking' thing can get pretty lame at times.

I like the way you explain it - but basically, just, "go make friends" is the advice, right? In case you're interested in the writings of someone with a similar point of view, I wrote a similar post, slightly rantier, a year or so ago: http://danielhough.co.uk/blog/human-business-card-jar/

ledwards 12 years ago | |

Thanks, Dan. Great article as well. Love the title ;)

Yeah, I think my basic message is to be a little more human in your dealings at networking events. In that way, I think we're both talking about the same thing. I'm embarrassed to admit that before I knew any better, I could have been Percy in your story. Thanks for the good read.

basicallydan 12 years ago | | |

The key thing I was trying to say was that Percy needs to be less zealous :)

We've all been there - I'm still learning, too, and I definitely learned something from your words!

hawkharris 12 years ago |

I agree with the author's criticism of LinkedIn. My biggest problem with the service is its default placeholder text for connection requests ("David Smith would like to connect with you...").

To me this takes all of the fun and excitement out of networking, not to mention the clarity. When I network with people face-to-face, I always get a sense of how they may want to work with me in the future. E.g. Maybe they're a designer; I'm a programmer; we could collaborate on X kind of project.

LinkedIn's placeholder text makes connections seem generic and less useful. Today I received five networking requests, but, unlike with real-life networking, I have no clear idea of why the people are reaching out to me.

lifeisstillgood 12 years ago |

I was about to drop 600 quid on a membership to a local networking group (BNI).

This has reminded me that networking is primarily a peer group thing, and otherwise it's, well, marketing

So, coffee mornings I guess

cpncrunch 12 years ago |

Excellent article. I'm certainly not an expert networker myself, but I would agree that being friendly with your business associates is very important to future business. It doesn't mean you necessarily need to hang out with them - even just chatting a little bit about personal stuff once in a while helps to oil the wheels of business. People are human after all, and most people prefer doing business with people they like.