I am not accusing the government of killing Hastings. I am accusing the government for helping put Hastings in a volatile mental situation.

I grew up amongst the "fuck the police" crowd. Many of my peers had valid reasons to want nothing to do with police, others just found it annoying having a policeman near your social circle, makes it less easy to speak.

I myself did not abide by the "fuck the police" mentality, there is just a portion of them that were clearly jerks about their job. Many of my friends have been stopped 'randomly' or had warrants obtained for their homes due to 'probably marijuana' smell.

This brings me to Hastings. I cannot fully explain the feeling of being an outcast of normal society due to herb use, the constant discrimination from employers, police and others even though most never picked up a novel to enrich them selves in their lives. It really does add up, rightful paranoid, condescending looks for smelling of marijuana instead of cigarettes.

So to me, Hastings was drawn further inward because of these latest stories he was working off of. Unable to speak freely with family, friends, you are essentially within your self. Left with the devices you know, the ones that gave you comfort previously. Speaking to others may open details that you will be forced to elaborate later. Your pipe on the other hand doesn't blabbler to others.

It tears you up, it tears me up. I couldn't imagine attempting to formulate a detailed story as he was, right now I am reading over what I wrote seeing if I was too livid or too forthcoming.

I feel terror.