Loving what I used to hate

76 points by bjcubsfan 12 years ago | 20 comments

ggreer 12 years ago |

I'm glad Sivers focused on the positive, but our preferences don't only change to like more things. It would have been interesting to hear what Sivers used to love that he now hates.

In fact, I think we end up enjoying fewer things as we get older. After all, 90% of everything is crap[1], and decades of experience make us better at discerning quality. Also, the more memories we have, the less likely any new one will compare favorably to our best ones.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon's_law

sivers 12 years ago | |

> what Sivers used to love that he now hates

Talking with wantrepreneurs about their business ideas. :-)

curiouslurker 12 years ago | | |

Why do you hate it now?

Gigablah 12 years ago | |

Knowing that "90% of everything is crap" actually makes me more charitable towards new experiences, because I realize first impressions aren't necessarily representative. So I enjoy fewer things, but the things I do enjoy are much more diverse.

trendoid 12 years ago |

This is what scientific/rational beliefs are all about, open to new data and susceptible to change. Normally, when your long held beliefs somehow become part of your identity, it becomes harder to let go off them when contradicting data arrives. Being ambivalent is also seen as a negative trait since it signifies indecisive mind. There are shit loads of behaviors and expectations that evolution has invented which not only are not relevant today but also harm the society and individual in the long run.

TheSpiceIsLife 12 years ago | |

Also, I'm not sure how you got to this being about scientific / rational beliefs. I'd posit a persons emotion response to music is as irrational and unscientific as they come. Changing ones mind about music down the track (pun!) has nothing to do with an analysis of the data because, with regard to music, "good" is entirely subjective, as distinct from "quality" with regard to acuity.

I think this is the part of the 'science' that some people take issue with. The 'scientific method' isn't always an appropriate way to view everything.

trendoid 12 years ago | | |

Yes, I agree with the music bit. I had other examples in mind that Sivers mentioned like his opinions about Indonesia and gym that changed overtime as he got more exposure to both.

Science might not be the best way to view everything but I was pointing out to the practice of constantly changing ones beliefs without putting extensive emotional investment in any of them.

If I love someone today and tomorrow they turn out to be a betrayer, I will be hurt but knowing humans are complex, I shouldn't be too surprised and change my views about that person instead of living in denial.

TheSpiceIsLife 12 years ago | |

Ambivalence does have an upside: it reduces the propensity of a person to react. When reacting could lead to worse outcomes ambivalence can be the better strategy. I also don't think ambivalence and indecisiveness are the same thing. Ambivalence says "don't care" or "not interested", whereas indecisiveness says "not sure" or "confused".

trendoid 12 years ago | | |

ambivalence : "the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone"

general_failure 12 years ago |

I guess the opposite applies as well. Hating what you used to love :) at least for me this is very common.

gfodor 12 years ago |

I'll back him up on the strength training -- you owe it to yourself to read Starting Strength. I read it at the beginning of this year and can definitively say it's changed my life.

oskarth 12 years ago | |

I'd change that to say: you owe it to yourself to do Starting Strength (or some other no-nonsense barbell program) for at least a month.

dnlserrano 12 years ago |

The reverse is why I'll never get a tattoo... or at least today I won't.