Amazon Is Killing My Sex Life

EdwardDiego 11 years ago |

I think the author should be glad that she lives in a country where her biggest issue is that all the wealthy and intelligent men she meets don't have artistic hobbies.

That is a fantastically first world / middle class problem to have.

rosser 11 years ago |

Repost of a Salon article.

Original submission: http://www.salon.com/2014/05/30/amazon_is_killing_my_sex_lif...

Original discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7826628

fallinghawks 11 years ago |

What a pathetic article. She seems to be looking for a guy who has money, is entertaining in the way she wants to be entertained, and has a side career in something bohemeian. And since she hasn't found that person while dating tech guys, she's condemning the entire lot. "...any woman will tell you you don't want to date any of them"? Not this woman. She has no right to think she speaks for me or anyone else but her selfish self.

thanatropism 11 years ago |

There was a The The song that had the perfect answer to this

> If you can't change the world

> Change yourself

> If you can't change the world

> Change yourself

> And if you can't change yourself

> Change your world.

Move. Find some middling Rust Belt city with an interesting scene that's not in an economic boom. Some people just don't like booming, growing areas, and that's fine.

vezzy-fnord 11 years ago |

“The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be a socially awkward, emotionally stunted, sheltered, strangely entitled, and/or a misogynistic individual,” she wrote in an email.

I'm impressed by the lack of self-awareness displayed in that statement. There's a saying that if everyone around you looks like an asshole, then it's probably you who is the asshole. I feel as though it applies here.

wlesieutre 11 years ago | |

Hell, the article's subtitle doesn't start it off any better: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, straight single guys. And as any woman will tell you: You don't want to date any of them.

Or to paraphrase, I am the arbiter of all dating preferences, and anyone who works at Amazon is terrible and undatable. My opinion is a fact and all women agree with it. Normally I'd write that off as an attention-grabbing opener, but the rest of the article is about as nuanced.

I'd bet a large pile of money on Seattle having plenty of people who are thrilled to the crowds of single programmer-types moving into the city.

6d0debc071 11 years ago | |

You don't know what her friends and dating life have looked like.

vezzy-fnord 11 years ago | | |

Indeed, I do not. That does not make the article any less obnoxious and narcissistic, however. It reads like the musings of a lonely and alienated person dissatisfied with the world around them and with delusions of entitlement. If that sounds familiar to a subculture that was the subject of extensive debate over a recent tragedy, well, it is.

6d0debc071 11 years ago | | |

The part you quoted was someone, in an email, writing about what they'd like in a man and how that had lined up with their experience of the local dating scene at the moment. Of course that's going to come across as her wanting something, she does. Whether she was claiming that everything was great or everything was terrible that would remain inherent to the nature of the piece: we've all got our preferences.

I'm sure a lot of men don't want massively fat women for example, and if that's honestly how they feel that's fine. No-one's got the right to tell you who you ought to be attracted to.

Was she lonely? Yeah, probably. Was she alienated? To a degree, yeah - from the dating scene she'd like to be part of. Was she dissatisfied? Yes. And all those things are normal and okay when your preferences aren't met.

Is she entitled? Yes, to an extent. Pretty much everyone is. We let someone through in traffic and we consider it rude if they don't wave back, we hold the door open for someone we expect them to thank us. When you grow up with a culture you come to expect a certain action reaction transaction - what you might call grace or good manners. But it doesn't seem to me that she was being abnormally entitled based on the fact she thought it odd for someone to ask that she read Neuromancer before they'd go on a date with her.

eglover 11 years ago |

I think she's just hit a mid-life crisis and just realized that she isn't pretty anymore. All of the sudden she can't get by on looks and has got to find a rich husband to support her. Problem is... well... look at that article. Maybe she's had a few bad dates, but I'm certain that she's the major issue here.

otto_sf 11 years ago |

Yes, I am in my mid/late 20s and am mostly focused on my career. I am not interesting in the way she wants her mate to be interesting, nor do I care. She will find somebody different, as will I.

Nothing lost, nothing gained. Have fun on this planet, don't get too worked up about dating.

fleitz 11 years ago |

Meh, one would think the solution to one's dating problems would be to change their approach, not expect an entire city & gender to accomodate them...

If one is looking for artists one might want to check out art parties rather than software created by the people their looking to avoid. (OkCupid).

The article is as horrible as every other article written by men about women complaining about how they can't get the woman of their dreams.

Stop whining, be positive, and go find the people you're looking for. If one can't find one artist/musician to date in SF or Seattle I really don't know what to tell you...

cdelsolar 11 years ago |

lol