Anger is one manifestation of fear--really they are two sides of the same coin. It's a question of if that fear is going to trigger a fight (anger) or a flight (being afraid) response. Fear, in turn, arises from a believe that we will somehow be "hurt" by some situation. Obviously these perceived threats may be real or imagined, physical or emotional.

If someone (including yourself) is getting angry when someone disagrees with them, the question is really "what are they afraid of?" The answer can very in detail greatly depending on the relationship to the person, environment, and all sorts of other circumstances.

However, much of the fears we experience stem from a fear of loss, or a fear or a fear of failure. [1] "The fear of failure is a fear of not being loved, valued, appreciated or wanted. The fear of loss is a fear that you won’t have what you need, want or deserve." That means that after sifting through the various situational specifics it will eventually boil down to either a loss or a failure. That doesn't mean there is a realistic/logic reason for why an opinion of "A" directly leads to the painful outcome of "Z". It does mean we, at some level, believe it will nonetheless.

Over years in management, I've found a lot of material support such a line of reasoning from all over, but I don't know where to give original credit to. I'll add a few seemingly respectable references that refer to similar sentiments that I gathered from a quick search.

[1] https://www.ksl.com/article/24314970/anger-management-ndash-... [2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hot-thought/201811/h... [3] https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mindfulness-practice_b_420856... [4] http://www.psychologyineverydaylife.net/2012/05/29/masks-of-...

user:	eestone
created:	April 11, 2022
karma:	1