So I had a similar issue and it was rooted much deeper than I realized. I am a workaholic and overachiever, but couldn’t get myself to do things I once enjoyed and that I actually want to do. I couldn’t get myself to play music or even play video games, things that should be fun. The issue was that I was ego-driven.

What kind of self talk is going on when you try to get yourself motivated? Are you saying negative things about yourself for not getting started? Are you pushing yourself to do things so you have the glory of having accomplished it? Do you value yourself based on these accomplishments and compare yourself to others to see how valuable you are?

Get rid of all these. They won’t help you. It’s possible you procrastinate because your subconscious does not like having to deal with the “club over your head” evaluating and analyzing your every move.

Instead realize that your relationship with yourself is made up of “We” instead of “I”. Amongst many things, there is a subconscious and a conscious mind that must work together in harmony. A good metaphor is seeing the subconscious as a team of players who play the game of life and the conscious mind as a coach who doesn’t play but helps the players focus on something and gives feedback after the performance.

The issue arises when the conscious mind (ego) wants to be a player and in full control. Using sheer will power, the conscious mind tries to control everything such as the behavior, the outcome, the process, everything. This is tiring, ineffective, and not fun.

Instead, remember what it was like when you were a child and this conscious mind didn’t interfere with the doing. No criticizing or trying to control the outcome and getting frustrated when you fail. Only play and fun and discovery. The only thing to do when you fail is to keep trying and discovering and playing with no harsh feedback or expected outcome.

So first, become still so your conscious mind can be silent. Lay down on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Sit and meditate. Go for a walk. Whatever you do, just be in the present, don’t think about what you should be doing or whatever. Keep your mind as silent as possible for even a minute by listening and observing what’s going on around you. Practice keeping your digital distractions off and away if you can. The point here is to see what you feel like doing at a deeper level, and avoiding the distractions that fill your day.

Pay attention to how you feel and find out what you want to do next. It should be spontaneous, not what you “should do or else you’re no good”. Once you find natural motivation to do something, your conscious mind gets to decide whether or not it is aligned with your goals. Pay close attention here because the subconscious mind can be like a puppy. If it wants to go back to digital distractions, say that is not appropriate. If it wants to do something aligned with your goals, “allow” it to do so.

It is okay if you feel like playing and not being productive. Allow yourself to just be yourself. It is okay to only feel like doing something for a few minutes only to switch to something else. Just go with your intuition.

When you decide to do something, play! Don’t try to come up with some grand scheme and force yourself to follow it. Do what comes naturally like you’re a kid again. Make it fun. Be spontaneous. Try learning a new skill. But whatever you do, don’t force the subconscious to behave a certain way for a specific outcome. Just visualize the goal or state your intent, and then hands off. Just let the conscious mind be silent and observe. Once you perform an action, THEN the conscious mind may speak like a coach. Tell yourself what you can do better or what you did well. Avoid negativity here. Only focus on how close you are to your goal. THEN try again or do something else with the conscious mind silent and observing again.

Don’t evaluate in the middle of an action. The point here is to let the players play and for the coach to let go of attaching itself to some expected outcome. There is no “failure”, just action. Try again or go do something else, without judgement or criticism. When the coach gets mad because it didn’t win, that doesn’t help anyone or anything. It needs to be hands off and let the players play and have fun. It is ALL about the journey and NEVER a means to an end. Ideally, work will become play and you can do it forever if you had all the time in the world!

Just remember that you do need to allow yourself breaks and chances to rest and wind down after working hard. My rule is once every 1-2 hours, take a break. If you don’t want to lose track of time, set a timer or tell yourself you’ll resume once you’re done distracting yourself with a specific thing.

Hope that helps!

user:	kren
created:	March 3, 2020
karma:	23