This is such a great question because I've been struggling with this too.

I'm a full-time hired CTO for a startup and I have a 1yr old girl, married and I recently bought a house that also requires a bunch of time. 1 year ago I was addicted to learning new things and hacking things together. I had a dozen side projects and I was part of several start-ups, invested money, time and I was shareholder in a few of those start-ups.

Sad truth was for me that I couldn't combine all of these after we got the baby. I had to step down for some of the startups I was involved in. In the beginning I tried to combine it, but since I only had 5 minutes, here, 10 minutes there, it was impossible to keep up with the pace that startups require. I also couldn't plan meetings anymore with my cofounders, it was actually annoying. The little time I had I wanted to spend on engineering, not on meetings.

This has been very frustrating for me, but just like anyone else here in this hacker news thread; Working / developing couldn't bring me any of the happiness that being with my baby girl could.

Here are my random thoughts;

- Skilling up is also part of my job. I would say that around 1/3rd of my working hours it's all about reading & research. Of course, hacker news is also part of that ;-) It should be perfectly possible to talk about this with your superior and ask for more time to research or try new technology/frameworks. Everyone benefits from this.

- Commuting is part of my daily life and I use this time to either read up on things (Instapaper) or listen to podcasts, like Software Engineering Daily. Podcasts are great. I also listen to podcasts when I do boring tasks that don't require much thinking, like mowing my lawn or removing snow from the driveway.

- Step down early form side projects when they don't bring you anything.

- Learn to say no. No to sideprojects, friends with good ideas, bosses that want overtime. No.

- Watching less Netflix / movies / TV shows.

Last but not least, I was also a heavy gamer around 5 - 6 years ago. Stop gaming before you get children, I regret all those hours I played games in stead of hacking&learning. Uninstall those games, now. If I could talk to a younger me before getting children; Work hard, don't be lazy, get things done and I can't stress enough to stop gaming.

user:	lenniez
created:	December 16, 2012
karma:	10
about:	CTO of startup. From Sweden.